I'm A Little Bit Cranky, I'm A Little Bit Out Of Sorts

tired, achy, sore abdomen, cold sore.

Those are the keywords I Googled last night to find out what's wrong with me. I should have also added "cranky".

Oh, and sometimes somewhat "dizzy". A couple weeks ago I had trouble falling asleep. I was lying in bed with my eyes closed, but I kept feeling dizzy every few minutes. And I've felt a little dizzy occasionally (albeit rarely) ever since. Weird.

And some numbness in my limbs. A little bit.

Anyway, Mono came up.

But I don't think that's what I have. The description said people between 10 - 25 years old tend to get this, and I'm more than a few years past that. Plus I haven't been kissing too many people who would potentially be exposed to Mono (refer back to the cold sore).

But I did have Mono before. When I first started going out with my now husband. Before him, I had led a pretty sedentary life. But once we started dating, we were continually going out, taking trips, playing mini golf and going on other fun adventure-type excursions. So I got sick. In the hospital sick. My GP wanted to be extra careful with me, given my spina bifida that he wasn't too up on, so he put me in the hospital to test for meningitis. Thankfully, that wasn't it. I just needed to rest. So I did.

And Hubby-to-be stuck around.

Then, around this same time (I can't remember if it was before or after my Mono), my mom had a seisure. Her first seisure ever (and her only one - knock on wood). Hubby-to-be was over at our house when this happened too.

And, still, he stuck around.

Then, years later, right before our wedding, I had a seisure.

Obviously, he still stuck around.

But that's all a separate story (or two or three). Let's get back to the yuckiness of today.

Anyway, I feel crappy. Nothing specific to point to, really. Just crappy. Maybe it's the heat that's finally hit our area. Maybe it's the pollen. Maybe it's, again, the ergodynamically incorrect manner in which I do my writing. Maybe it's a little of all this and more. I don't know, but I don't like it.

Remember when my neurologist gave me a perscription for steroids and told me to go see a headache specialist? Yeah, well... my headaches pretty much went away right after that appointment. So I never filled the perscription. But I did make the specialist appointment.

But then I continued to be headache-free for a good, long stretch. I planned to cancel my appointment with the specialist. But before I could, that office called me to reschedule the appointment for some reason or another. I told the receptionist that I'd been feeling better anyway and didn't need to come in at all. She said, Oh, bless you! So I guess she wasn't too concerned about trying to stuff me into the already overcrowded schedule. Fine.

Within that following week, though - yup - the headaches started to return. But really it's a sore neck and shoulders thing. My arms are probably tingly because something has kinked in my neck and isn't letting the right amount of blood or whatever down to my extremities. I've mentioned it to my chiropractor once, I think. I should tell her again. Maybe I'll also finally fill that steroids perscription. My follow up appointment with my neurologist is coming up soon. He'll probably be upset if I'm still feeling bad but didn't try to do anything about it.

Oh, and Sweetie! The poor thing couldn't step one foot out of line this week without me getting all uppity about it. It seems like every evening this week she's done very little to make me very mad, frustrated and stressed. I thought it all stemmed from the Monday playdate debacle. But it's gone on too long now and I have the other symptoms of yuckitude. And this morning she's been particularly whiney and cry-ey herself. Instead of yelling at her, though, I'm feeling for her. Maybe she's got the dreaded cranky bug too.

So - what's wrong with me? Any ideas? Should I go to the doctor? And don't tell me I'm pregnant, because I'm not. That, I can absolutely guarantee you.

Sweetie Saturday #13 - Daddy Edition!

Netflix movie of the day: Bewitched.

Hi Ho. Hubby Here...

(thus endeth the Kermitesque illiteration)

Amy's letting me pop in from time to time if I ever have a story to share...

Sweetie and I have hit on a new routine that seems to have ended her "Out of Bed in 60 Seconds" routine.

Nearly two weeks back I told Sweetie as I was tucking her in that if she stayed in bed I'd read her a story. We kind of fell out of this practice (right before bed, that is) when she was still sleeping in -and escaping from- her crib.

Of course she promised she'd stay, just as she'd always promised before. Yeah, right.

I scanned the shelf and immediately picked a classic. Dr. Suess, Bien Sur! I picked up Mr Brown Can Moo! Can You? partly because I new it would be quick, partly because I new it would be fun, and partly because I viewed it as a sequel to when I read to her, and eventually memorized, the ABC Book. But I really chose this book because I knew my parents used to read it to me, and I LOVED IT. - At least, my mom told me I did. I can't say I remember, so I'll have to take that as gospel. So this choice was really a nod to my own childhood.

To my delight Sweetie okayed the choice, and she LOVED IT. She watched and listened intently, didn't protest when it was over, or ask me to read it again. I then calmly reminded her that if she stayed in bed I'd read to her again tomorrow. Which book would it be, I wondered to myself. Certainly she'll learn to ask for a nice loooooong one, right?

Lo and behold, she actually stayed in bed that night! Her story of choice for the next night? She wanted me to re-read "Mr. Brown Can Moo Book". Well, okay!

After nearly 2 weeks, she has gotten out of bed only once and, as promised, I didn't read to her the next night. However,she did stay in bed that Suess-less night, earning her storytime rights once more. Hmmm. Lesson learned - so far, at least.

Now, after quite a few nights of quiet, intent listening to this same beloved book, Sweetie smiling all the while, she's pointing to certain words and reading them to me.

I told her that Grammy used to read this to me when I was a little boy. "Yes, when you were a little boy, in my bed, and Grammy was the Mommy." She even knows which page is my favorite (I'll have to ask my mom if she remembers). Sweetie's is the "fish kissing page."

Dibble dibble dibble dopp.

W.W.S.N.D?

My Sweetie's behavior during a playdate this past Monday absolutely appalled me.

My cousin came up for the day with her 2-year old daughter. We met at my parents' house, as it was easier for her to travel to and provided the kiddie fun pool for the girls to enjoy together.

Sweetie knew about and was excited for the play date as it approached. And when Sadie and her Mommy walked in the door, both girls were happy to see each other.

Shortly thereafter, all Hell broke loose.

For starters, Sadie dared to touch the purple rectangular McDonalds Happy Meal I-don't-know-what-it-really-is toy Sweetie's recently been using as a computer mouse (she's taken to "playing computer" by setting up two throw pillows to look like a monitor and keyboard and use whatever small toy around as the "mouse").

Don't touch my mouse!

Then Sadie had the audacity to move and ride upon the rocking horse.

Don't move that! That's not where that belongs!

Then - can you believe it?! - Sadie put various figurines on a toy truck trailer bed and transported the tiny crew around the room! A toy truck trailer bed that Sweetie has never showed any interest in whatsoever.

Don't do that! Put that back!

And, even though Sweetie had been confirming nicely all along that she'd let Sadie play in her pool and slide on her slide, when the time actually came there was - um, how should I put this? - a complete and utter breakdown of all sense, sanity and calmness on the part of one particular 3 1/2 year old little diva.

Let's just say Sweetie was not entirely living up to her moniker that day.

Oh, I threatened. I yelled. I took toys away. I insisted she play nice or sit by herself. I let her flip out until she could calm herself down. Whatever I could think of - when I could get past the shock of this behavior - I tried to do in an attempt to bring things under control.

All I can say is, thank goodness Sadie is now old enough to stand up for herself. Yes, we moms even let the two fight it out a bit on their own.

But you know what? Um... I probably made more out of the situation than was necessary. Actually - I'm sure I did. Why else would I now, days later, still feel embarrassed over it? And not just embarrassed for how Sweetie behaved but for how I chose to handle it?

Why am I embarrassed? Is it because I'm normally seen as such a quiet, "cute", unassuming type of person, yet when it comes to my daughter's behavior I expect her to know what's what and act appropriately, no questions asked? Am I embarrassed to show that tough side of me?

Yes, I'm sure that's at least part of it.

I know - I'm often too hard on her. I'm too demanding of her. I expect too much from her. I don't let her just be a typical, self-centered, greedy kid. I won't accept it. I won't have it.

Therefore I can't stop wondering if I did the right thing(s). Maybe I shouldn't have yelled and threatened so much. Maybe I should have been calmer and more accepting of the fact that that's just how toddlers are - especially on their own "turf". Because I know Sweetie plays at least reasonably well when we're at other friends' homes or she's at school. Maybe I should have followed my cousin's lead to not worry about it and let the girls work it out themselves. Maybe I was just as wrong as Sweetie was.

I keep thinking - What Would Super Nanny Do in a similar situation?

I don't know, but whatever she'd do, I'm sure she'd have my Sweetie straightened up and flying right in no time. And undoubtedly in a much calmer, more rational manner than what I personally displayed. That woman is amazing!

But that's what kids do, isn't it. That's the essence of being a toddler. They're all about that "mine" mentality.

I just have to get past my own embarrassments and accept my role (and sometimes disciplnary ineffectiveness) as a mother of a toddler. I have to feel more confident in myself that I'm making the best decisions possible in the moment. And I need to accept that, despite my best abilities, my child is sometimes going to be nothing more than a stubborn, loud, irrational brat.

She's going to be a typical child.

Anyway, if you're reading this, Sarah - I'm sorry. For Sweetie's behavior and for mine.

Next time - let's meet on neutral territory. Okay?

Momentous Occasion

Behold: my very first payment for my very first paid writing gig.

I'm so excited!

May this be just the start of many wonderful, interesting and paying writing opportunities for me.

:)

Mama Monday #18

Theme: Saunter

I love little childrens' ability to relax, take their time, and absorb. Their awesome ability to observe. Their enviable ability to take things in, appreciating every common-yet-fascinating object around them.

Infants are great at this, of course. Not a care in the world, just an innate need to touch everything, stimulating all their senses to figure out what exactly this new toy or body part can do.

But as toddlers, there's still plenty of slow, deliberate observation to unfold. Lots of Who, What, Where, When and Why questions for parents to answer. Still lots for their little minds to not only discover but also to invent. Wild, elaborate stories to tell, tea parties to hold with the neighborhood teddies and dollies, and nighttime "stories" to excitedly relate each morning to Mommy and Daddy.

My daughter is constantly amazing us each day with all the information in her head that she's been able to process and retain.

After showing her, just once, all the pegasuses in her I Spy book, she's now able to easily find them - even after weeks of not looking at the book at all.

After a bit of trial and error, she now understands how to play matching games. No longer turning over the same two cards every time, she's now remembering where matches are and often winning the most matches per game.

And, upon hearing a classical music CD commercial on the T.V., her little ears are so in tune with the sound that she instantly recognizes it as music heard on The Little Einstein.

Yes, little children are moody and fickle. One moment sweet as pie, the next a screaming banshee. They can be stubborn - insisting that they will not get dress this morning even though Mommy and Daddy have to leave for work in two minutes. And they often insist on immediate satisfaction - I just put the Band-Aid on, why does my owie still hurt?

All this can definitely be endlessly frustrating to the parents who need to work fast, get things done and move on with their day. I know. That's been me on more occasions than I'd like to admit.

But through it all, I do try to stop, take a deep breath, and see the world through her eyes. Try to take some time with her to answer her questions and to point out even more fascinating things about the book we're reading, the game we're playing, or the many colorful objects we see on our journey.

We all would do well to do the same - with children in our lives or not. How nice it would be to breath deeper, wonder more, and saunter as purposely or aimlessly as we please through this exciting, happy, interesting life.

The Reveal

Happy Father's Day! Finally, I could give the gift I've been dying to give for about six months now. And it was a big hit, as I knew it'd be.

So, do you want to know what it was?

Well, literally speaking, I gave my Hubby a simple book.

But, oh what a book! Called The Renaissance Soul by Margaret Lobenstine, it is exactly the book he needs.

I also gave him this shirt from this collection .

See, my Hubby is the epitome of The Renaissance Soul. He has so many loves, so many interests, so many talents and passions. He's constantly starting projects and leaving them to pursue new ones. And he's endlessly anguished about what he truly wants to be "when he grows up". He's multi-faceted. He's Sweetie's Daddy. He's my Hubby.

I'm so excited for him to have this book now and reap the benefits of Lobenstine's words. And the corresponding website is awesome! Offering quizzes, newsletters and daily tips, as well as the opportunity to attend Renaissance Soul workshops and/or even hire Lobenstine (at a reasonable rate, I might add) as a Life Coach to help you focus your interests and goals. There is also a Renaissance Soul on-line store. That's where I got the tee shirt, but there are so many other fun things to buy, helping to keep you inspired and motivated.

So that's it. I just thought I'd follow up on that for you. Hubby dove into the book immediately and really seems to like it. He says it's "perfect" for him. Yup - I knew it.

Happy Father's Day! May we all find and follow our lives' passion(s) to the happiness and life fulfillment we all deserve.

Sweetie Saturday #12

Netflix movie of the day: Cinderella.

Today I feel the need to muse on my fast-growing little Sweetie. Not just physically, but in all ways - Sweetie is growing up.

Physically: Sweetie is destined to be quite tall - both her paternal grandfather and great grandfather are well over 6 ft. tall. Sweetie is definitely on her way there too.

We got together with friends last weekend. Their daughter is about 10 months older than Sweetie, so she's always been taller than Sweetie. But this latest visit showed just how quickly Sweetie is catching up. Her friend is still taller, but not by much at all. Wow!

But I'm getting frustrated with this whole growing business, actually. A few weeks back, when we had a string of hot days, I switched out Sweetie's cooler weather clothes for the shorts and tee shirts of summer. And, having seen that some size 4 pants were too little for her around the waist, and size 4 dresses were too short for her, I figured it's time to dig out the size 5's.

Weird, but whatever. I mean, she was just in the 3's - and she's not a big kid (tall, yes. But not heavy). Regardless, she seemed to have more or less skipped over the size 4 stage. Okay, then.

But, unfortunately, I didn't have many summer hand-me-downs in the size 5 range. So I went shopping and bought her about four or five pairs of shorts (shirts still are good in size 4, which she has plenty of), capri pants and a bikini.

Long story short - size 5's are entirely too big!

What was I thinking?! She is only 3 years old, after all. She should be nowhere near size 5's yet. And, obviously, that's true. But I've already de-tagged the clothes, so they're no longer returnable. Woe is me! I'll have to go to Children's Orchard, I guess, to get some less expensive size 4's.

But, thanks again to my mom (to whom I told this tale of woe), she went out and bought Sweetie a couple size 4 shorts. However, one of them is very similar to a pair she already has (a pair that fits her appropriately, no less). So, since those tags are still in place, I'll just exchange them. Plus I noticed that I didn't take the tags off her swimsuit. So that will be exchanged as well - for more shorts or capris, since I found a swim suit in our possession that will work just fine.

Mom also shone some light on the situation by pointing out that Sweetie is no longer wearing bulky diapers. So those size 4 pants that were too tight around before may be just fine now. Plus, the size 5's will definitely be even bigger on her than I thought. Mystery solved. Too bad I just gave back all the clothes to Sweetie's sometimes babysitter for her new baby to use someday. Oh well.

Other growth signs: Sweetie is a whiz at the computer! She can play lots of games at nickjr.com and noggin.com all by herself. She moves the mouse around, clicks and drags, and knows what words and icons to click on to get the results she wants. This is great because I don't have to sit with her for hours playing inane kiddie games now. But it's also not so good because she's now wanting lots of computer time on her own. Time that I or my hubby could be using to get some of our computer-related obligations completed.

Lastly, Sweetie has taken to calling me and my hubby "Mom" and "Dad" rather than "Mommy" and "Daddy". It's not a big thing, I guess. But it does rattle me just a bit. It sounds so grown up. Especially when she uses these names in conjunction with a rather mature expression.

Upon my doing something Sweetie's not very happy about (like pulling at her hair when I attempt to comb it):

Ow!

Oh, I'm sorry, Sweetie.

That's okay, Mom.

I know. I'm being silly. But hearing such an understanding, calm, sensitive thought coming out of my baby - um, I mean my little girl - both really impresses me and really wants me to stop time forever.

So, just let me know if any of you have a time stopping machine I can borrow, okay? Thanks.

Meet & Greet Time!

I've been thinking lately how cool it would be to actually meet other bloggers.

I know - crazy, huh? People who seem so cool and with it and smart and witty in their blogs - maybe in real life they're a bit dull.

But then again, no. I doubt it. I mean, I link to some pretty awesome bloggers, I think. And I know there must be a good number of awesome bloggers who live right here in NH. I'd sure love to meet them, but how?

Well, you know what they (really never) say: simply ponder inwardly and you shall receive.

Enter: The NH Blog Con

Click the link to learn more. Go on! Click it.... but please come back, okay?.... thanks, I'll wait now....

...See?! I am so excited! I can't wait to schmooze with these bloggers, mixing and mingling with other like-minded folk.

Or maybe they're not. I mean, how many other mom bloggers are really going to be a part of this party, let alone disabled mom bloggers? I could very well find myself in the middle of a largely politically-minded, nature-loving, techno/gadget-giddy group.

But, hey, that's cool too. Whatever. We're sure to be an interesting, fun-loving bunch and there's bound to be at least one person there I click with (cuz, you know, my Hubby will be there).

Come what may, I can't wait!

Then I started thinking - wouldn't it be fun to have my very own little "Meet & Greet"? Right here, right now. Seriously!

Come on, now. I challenge all of you - and I do mean every last person - post a comment here telling me a little bit about yourself. I mean, it's only fair, right? I'm here pouring my heart out, sharing my fears and dreams with you multiple times a week. You know a lot about me. Now it's your turn! Tell me about you.

1) Where are you from?

2) How did you find me?

3) Is this your first time here or are you a "regular"?

4) How do you "relate" to me? Are you a mom/parent? Are you disabled? Do you like my writing style? Do you just think I'm cute and friendly? Or am I actually starting to annoy you? Go on, tell me - I can take it.

5) Do you plan on coming back to hang with me some more?

6) Wanna be friends?

7) Is it raining where you are. Cuz, like, it's raining here. ALL THE FREAKIN' TIME. It's June 14th, for cryin' out loud, and the weather continues to be damp, dreary and brisk. We don't have seasons anymore. Apparently, we just have weather. And it stinks. Uggghhh!

Ahem... Alright, then. I think that's all my questions for now. Feel free to elaborate. But, if you only have time for a quick, Hey, there!, that will be fine too.

Now get crackin'! I expect to see an absolute ton of comments on this one. Or else! (or else what? I don't know. Just considered yourself appropriately warned, m'kay?)

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I do have to thank Amalah over at Mom's Daily Dose for the inspiration for this questionaire-style post. She's probably the coolest of all cool bloggers. So, I figured, I'd follow suit. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, right?