Monday, December 01, 2008

Mama Monday #41.1

Theme: Quiet

Alternative Theme: Mystery

I know. I've been very quiet lately. Posting pictures, talking Sweetie silliness, or just not writing at all. With all the holiday craziness, plus some life questions/stresses/waiting-and-wondering, I've just been a lot more internal these days than up for exposing all right here on this blog.

See, it's taken pretty much my whole life - and especially the last several years - to realize that I really do speak too soon in so many different situations. Sorry - I know I've talked about this talking too much thing before. It's just that I'm trying to explain why, this time, I've been keeping my mouth shut tight, for the time being.

I think it's a superstitious thing. Too many times I've announced great achievements/changes/opportunities/hopes and dreams, only to have none of them pan out to the extent that I presumed they would or, perhaps, even not at all.

And anyway, this time - I'm still thinking. Pros and cons. Goods and bads. What's the best decision if, in fact, I'm given an opportunity to decide. Will this situation, if it goes through successfully, really be the best thing for me and my family?

Too many unknowns at this point. I know what I HAVE to do if the opportunity presents itself. I'm just not very sure, at this point, that I'll be extremely happy - on a personal level - with all the extra stuff that I believe will come along with this situation.

Yep - it's a mystery. To you, because y'all don't know what I'm rambling on about. And to me because I'm not confident, or feeling 100% great, about how all this will play out.

I'm hoping within a couple days I'll have some answers. I'll have a rock solid announcement to make. One that won't force me to later hang my head, admitting that nothing actually did happen with that after all. 

Hopefully next time I write, I'll be able to break my silence and unlock the mystery. Wish me luck, and see you soon.

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