Wednesday, December 20, 2017

Okay, So Maybe This IS Your Birthday Post...

... Cuz it's definitely your birthday! 15th, to be exact. Happy Birthday, Sweetie!

(Original Post Title: This Is Not Your Birthday Post)

Getting back to the (original) title of this post... Correct. This is not really your Birthday Post. But I suppose you could call it your Official Birthday Post. I'll be writing the real one elsewhere, for your eyes only. Someday. It will be a place where I can really and truly reflect honestly on the past year. It's been a big one, with promises of more adventures to come. But more on that in your Actual Birthday Post.

For now, suffice it to say that Daddy and I are so, so proud of you and impressed with the thoughtful, ever-inquisitive, honest, caring young woman you have become.

You know the importance of hard work, and you get down to it - giving it your all - even if it might take some help with outside motivation to get started, and extra time to complete (true for all of us, sometimes.)

You know the importance of kind words and empathetic actions, even if it sometimes may be difficult for you to express them as intended, or understand them as they're shown to you (a difficulty for everyone, every once in awhile.)

You are unendingly honest, and to see you truly get worked up when you believe you have either unintentionally told an untruth, or believe you have witnessed others being not as transparent as they should be, is both a blessing (A truthful teenager! What an anomaly!) and, sadly, a curse, Why, indeed, can't everyone just "say what they mean and mean what they say"?! (my favorite quote, by the way, by a certain Dr. Seuss.)

You have fun friendships and wonderful peers in your life who support and get you, and whom you help lift up as they need lifting. You have found your "tribe" of cohorts and enjoy every moment spent with them. And when the stresses of schoolwork, or life commitments keep you away from friends too long, you feel terrible that you're being dragged away from "hanging out" with them online or in person to just chat and have fun. But what an important lesson this is that you're learning! Life can and often does get in the way of socializing and "just chillin'" with your friends... but your true friends will always understand and always be there for you when you return.

Your relationship with Daddy and me is lovely, real, difficult, relaxed, comfortable, trying, frustrating, and everything it absolutely should be. We three were talking the other night and you expressed to us, in a bit of sadness, that "you are the only ones who really understand me." And as we described how the "typical" teenager wants nothing to do with their dumb parents, you were in utter disbelief, saying that someone's parents should be the people who understand their kids the best and whom the kids should feel comfortable talking with about anything. Sadly, Sweetie, as sweet and amazing as that sounds, no... it's probably not the way most of the world's families with teens get along most of the time. But we sure are proud of you, love our open relationship, and are confident that you know for sure that you can always come to us with anything that's on your mind. And we know you'll actually come. Maybe not right away. Maybe after some private processing on your own - which is often times absolutely necessary and totally fine. But you do come to us. You do talk, even if it takes you some time to start, to find the right words. However long it takes you, whenever you're ready, we are here and you not only know it, but appreciate it. And so do we.

You say we're the only one's who understand you. Well, we sure are trying, anyway. But way more people "get you" than you realize, Sweetie. The world is full of caring, interesting, awesome people - family, friends, acquaintances, strangers, and everyone in between - who are willing and wanting to see people for who they really are. And with you - despite what less-than-pleasing front you may present at any given moment (don't we all!) - I know they see you for who you truly are - the amazing, honest, smart, great, caring, curious you at your core. Someone who's constantly trying to be the best you you can be - even when it's super difficult to show it.

As parents, who could ask for more?! We sure did luck out with you, Sweetie. You really are the best! (no, that's me.) You're awesome! (no, that's Daddy.) You. Are. Great. Yes you are.

Well, now. Maybe this is your actual Birthday Post. Sounds pretty good to me. I've said what I meant, and meant every word I've said. Even though there are other specifics I could really go on about quite a lot... eh. I don't have to. Not associated with a Birthday Post, anyway. Yeah, maybe I'll write that other post I was talking about earlier - the one I'm not going to publish - just so I can sort out some thoughts for myself. But I'll do it in time. For now - all you need know is that today, on your 15th Birthday and always, Daddy and I are as proud as proud can be of you. We are here for you no matter what joys, concerns, challenges, or revelations lie ahead. And together we can get through anything.

But know this one thing for sure... you are strong enough and wise enough to handle anything that comes your way, all on your own, just because you are you. We believe in you and we know you believe in you too.

You don't need us as much as you think you do, Sweetie. But rest assured that we are here to help you realize even more clearly the strength, independence, confidence, and determination that already lies within.

Come at her, World! She's ready for ya!