Monday, June 30, 2008

Mama Monday #30.1

Theme: Aha!

So I bet you're all just itching to know what the heck has been on my mind lately? Well, lots of things, actually. Some more important than others. You know. Whatever. We've all got things on our minds. Big deal.

But the thing that is a Big Deal - at least for me - is my fresh new self awareness.

Aha! Intriguing, yes? Allow me to explain.

(Ooh, boy. I'm not sure how I can possibly make this a light and breezy/soft and easy post. I'll try, but I'm warning you now.... this may be a doozy).

Where to start? Okay - here's as good a place as any...

Have y'all heard of something called People First language? Up until early last week, I sure hadn't.

(Check that. I was actually given a child's activity book a few weeks ago that happened to discuss People First language. But at the time, I honestly didn't give the whole concept much thought).

Anyway, if you click this link, you'll get the full (and not altogether positive) definition of People First language. If you'd rather not click, then I'll just tell you - it's a type of speech intended to separate the disability from the person.

Huh?! Who knew?!

How I found out about People First language doesn't much matter for this post. But my personal thoughts on it - at the time - do matter.

I thought - well, that's nice, I guess. But whatever. I have always called myself a disabled person - as opposed to a person with spina bifida. If only for the sheer fact that it's a heck of a lot easier to say it that way. Why go through the effort of using those extra words? And anyway, I know I'm much more than my disability! I can "label" myself any way I want - not that I even consider it labeling. And as for how others refer to me? They can say I'm a disabled person too, for all I care. Like I said - I know what I'm all about, as do my family and friends. How I'm addressed makes no difference at all.

Isn't it all just another way for able-bodied people to feel better about themselves, anyway?Using the "PC" way of addressing others who are somehow different from themselves?

Oh! But THEN!...

Last Friday, I watched this episode of Oprah. She and her panelists continued their discussion about The Law of Attraction. They talked about how naturally strong and alive you feel when you're doing something in line with reaching your destiny. They talked about listening to yourself and loving yourself. They talked about striving for your Core of Peace. Basically, they talked about all of this.

And I said:

Aha! I get it!

I realized that all of the greatest things about my life - what I've already accomplished and what I strive to achieve - all have very little, if anything, to do with my disability. Some include my disability. But absolutely none of them rely on the fact that I have spina bifida.

I've felt that feeling of strength, confidence, and openness when thinking about or pursuing what I want most in my life.

And I've felt that closed off tightness associated with negative thoughts and pursuits.

Examining things even more deeply, I understood how all of my "I can'ts", "I'm afraids", "I'm not at my bests" - all of them stem, consciously or subconsciously, from a "disabled" point of view.

In one way or another, I've told myself over the years:

I can't do such and such because I'm physically unable to do it/it's harder for me to do, so why even try? 

Sure, I could do such and such. But other, more able-bodied people are around and willing to do it in my stead. I'll just let 'em!

My fear of loud noises stems from my spina bifda - there's scientific proof out there, isn't there?

Hubby loves me, sure, but I can't always understand why, given my ungracefulness and added physical difficulties and "props" that help me get through each day and night.

(Okay, people. Don't get yourselves all worked up here. I don't need calls or emails telling me to get a grip, lighten up and stop being such a self-deprecating person. I'm in the process of learning my lesson! And anyway, until this Oprah show, I never even consciously realized how down I was on myself regarding all these things).

SO! Back to this People First business.

Maybe it's a pretty great thing after all. I really should address myself as a person first. And expect others to do the same. I'm a woman, a wife, a mother, daughter, sister, friend, etc. I am smart. I am interesting. I have done a lot of great things. And I am able to do - and certainly will do - a whole lot more.

And, oh yeah, I have spina bifida. If that even matters to you.

I've just realized for myself that it doesn't matter a lick to me. 

Yes, like I said, I've always claimed that statement to be true - that my disability doesn't define who I am. But if that's really how I feel, then why on earth would I care to define myself as a disabled woman?

As a writer, words obviously play an important role in my life. As of now, I understand how critical proper word usage personally is for me in terms of my life's role.

I see the importance of People First. I will move forward much more confidently because I'm starting to know who I really am. I have a greater sense of where - and who - I want to be in the future.

Amy first.


Saturday, June 28, 2008

Sweetie Saturday #113 - Selfish Non-Post Edition

Sorry. I got nothin'. Despite Hubby's being away for a few days this week, therefore putting Sweetie in my sole care (at least during the evenings - we visited Nana a lot this week), I've got nothing funny or remarkable to report on Sweetie.

I guess, instead of paying much attention to Sweetie's typical silliness, I turned inward. In fact, it was a very busy "internal" week for me. Lots for me to do, think about, mull over, discover, and question for myself. Such as - why on earth am I normally such a patient person, but when it comes to Sweetie - it all goes straight out the window?

Yeah - it's been a crazy week.

The good news for you, though, is that Mama Monday will more than likely discuss some of what's been going on in my brain lately. So that'll be a deep, "meaningful" post to look forward to. Get psyched!

But now? Nothing. Hubby's home, we've got a busy day ahead of us (what else is new?) and I am done.

See ya Monday!

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Polly Want a Pair of Pants?

Given the fact that I had to have my mom "rescue" Sweetie (and I do use that term very loosely, today) and I from each other a little while ago, lest we absolutely drive each other insane with our stubbornness - I'm opting for some lighter fare here on this blog.

I present to you Polly, one of the gifts Sweetie received during her Half Birthday Party:


Now, I admit, this photo does show Polly in a clearer light than my first view of her. Still - is it just me, or does it look - at first glance - that our dear Polly is in desperate need of a decent pair of pants?

Yeah, yeah. She's wearing leggings. I see that now. But, I'm tellin' ya - Polly's yellow "leggings", in real life, don't look much different than her skin color.

Why not make them blue? Or green? Just so they show up better? 

I'm just sayin'...

Monday, June 23, 2008

Mama Monday #29.1

Theme: Escape

Sweetie's Merry UnBirthday Party was a huge success and a fun escape from reality.

The beautiful table:


The 1/2 cakes:


The transition to Wonderland:


The roses - white:


The roses - red (or whatever color you wish):


Time for tea!:


And then a party game:


Our winner!


Sweetie running free on the croquet field:


Time for presents:


Back to reality - Party's over, just as the storm moves in:


Saturday, June 21, 2008

Sweetie Saturday #112

Our little Decoder Girl has been hard at work again.

The Scene:

Last night, our living room. Sweetie is lost in her own world, busily coloring/doodling away in her coloring books - an engrossing, favorite new activity of hers. 

Hubby and I are seated on the couch, with some such "entertainment" flashing itself across the T.V. screen. Hubby asks me if I want to watch our latest Netflix arrival later, to which I say yes. Then he mentions how he's thinking of making "a mocha chocka naka naka" (translation - a smoothie drink, made with coffee flavored ice cream and chocolate sauce) later. (translation - after Sweetie goes to bed. She's such a mooch! - it's best just to sometimes leave her out of the smoothie equation).

So that was that. Sweetie sat, still concentrating on her coloring. Hubby and I watched T.V. 

Then, about 15-20 minutes later, Sweetie gets up, climbs up on her Daddy, and says:

So, Daddy. what's a mocha chocka naka naka?

(I start to laugh, almost beyond control. Hubby tries to stifle his laughs as he answers).

Nothing, Sweetie. I was just teasing Mommy about something.

Oh.... So you're going to make smoothies, then?

Yeah.... Maybe. I don't know yet. It was just an idea.

(For the record... Hubby did make smoothies after Sweetie went to bed - while we watched the movie - and they were delicious as always).


Mama? If Daddy spun me around and around and around, that would be an easier way to get my pants off if we were outside.

Oh yeah? Outside?

Yeah... if we were camping....

(me, thinking where in the world did she come up with that).

.... and then it would be funny so we'd be on America's Funniest Home Videos.



Sweetie's Merry UnBirthday Party is tomorrow. Invited kids have been instructed to dress up as Wonderland characters, if they'd like. But Sweetie is going to be Alice. Although I never directly instructed any parent that Sweetie is to be the only Alice, the invitation I sent out certainly implies this.

So a couple days ago I emailed one of my new friends - the mom of one of Sweetie's friends who'll be a guest at her party. I asked my friend what her daughter was going to be dressing as.

She said Alice.

Concerned that Sweetie would be upset to have another Alice at her party besides herself, I cautiously informed her what H______'s costume plan was.

Thankfully, instead of being upset, Sweetie was actually excited, making a whole new plan of things:

Now the party will be renamed to - Alice In Wonderland 2: Double Trouble!

Ha! But, in the end - it is not to be. My friend emailed later, apologizing that she told me the wrong thing. H______ will be dressing as the White Rabbit instead.

Another instance where now I thought Sweetie would be upset that there wouldn't be two Alices. But, no - whatever. She's fine with whatever each kid decides to dress up as.

Let's just hope that proves true tomorrow. Cuz' we all know how particular Sweetie is! Who knows what may happen if, say, there are two Mad Hatters at her party. Oh, the horrors!

Wish us luck! And no rain! (Or at least not as much rain as they say there's going to be.... Oy.)

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Working Hard To Believe

My job search continues. I send out at least two or three resumes a day. Last Wednesday I went gang busters and applied to several places. I've forwarded my resume to job placement agencies. I keep looking, I keep trying, I keep believing that something is out there for me.

On the other hand, I try to enjoy my days with Sweetie. We go on play dates. We watch videos. We play games. We read. We're getting ready for her party. We tend to Daddy's veggie garden. We visit Nana. We rest, relax and have fun. It's been great to be with Sweetie so much - I really treasure this time with her.

However - there's the continually nagging "thing" fighting it out in my brain...

When I'm on the computer job hunting, and Sweetie wants to play with me or use the computer herself, I either get snappy with her - Mommy's trying to find a job! Go play something on your own! - or I feel neglectful of her - turning my head around to see her zoning out at the T.V. or "reading" her books to herself while I stare at the computer screen (both she and I know she's perfectly capable of actually reading to herself, but I know she's just going through the motions - not exercising her reading skills at these times as she claims she is).

Then, when I'm playing with her, I feel like I really ought to get back to the job hunt. Surely a new position or two has been posted at in the last 30 minutes! Maybe I should look again at using different search words. Or, ya know, it would really prove how interested I am in this particular job if I wrote a follow up email to the company, asking how the hiring process is moving along.

Oh! But then! It gets better! On the third hand (yes, I have three hands. Maybe more - we'll see how this proceeds...), I do have a healthy amount of faith in the Universe. I do prescribe to The Secret. I've known The Law of Attraction to work in my own life as well as the lives of my friends and family. Heck, I even believe in magical spells! Simply put, I know great things can and will come to you if you ask, believe, and let go.

I've asked. I believe! And I've let it go... 

.... to an extent.

See, it's difficult to find that right balance of actively searching and working and focusing on a goal (finding a job... a good job... a fulfilling job), while at the same time simply believing that it will come to me. 

That's the part of The Secret I've never quite been able to wrap my brain around. Just how do you give yourself up to the Universe while at the same time truly working toward your goals?

I know, for instance, that I can't just believe I'm a multi-millionaire and - poof! - tomorrow a check will arrive in my mail. I know the key is to not only believe something to be true but also to surround yourself with people and situations that will help you to realize your dreams. (that may not be precisely what one is "supposed to" do - but it's my interpretation of The Laws of Attraction). If you work hard, connect with the right people, and put yourself out there into the world, sooner or later, that prosperity will find its way into your life.

At the same time - as I understand it - there's something to that "letting it go" mentality. I think that's where I get most hung up.

For instance, I say I'm giving myself up to the Universe - wherein I'm supposed to truly let the situation go and trust good will come from it. And I honestly believe this will work! But then I'll think about how maybe this upcoming meeting I have with someone will lead to the realization of my career goals. Or I'll concoct a whole experience in my mind where I'll find myself at the coffee shop, for instance, and maybe I'll run into an old acquaintance, and we'll talk, and somehow that will lead to a great, job-related, end result for me!

Phew! See? I feel I can believe all I want in The Secret, but get scared that if I'm not "doing it right", then it won't work at all.

So... that said... maybe I am doing things the "right" way. I am actively job hunting. I have made and continue to make connections via word-of-mouth and/or friend-of-a-friend networking. I'm doing what I can to find companies that are most likely to find me not only interesting but also, certainly, entirely capable of performing well in any job they may have open. 

And I continue to say "prayers". To believe that whatever is meant to happen will happen, no matter what. To understand that however disappointing or disconcerting a current situation may look, the Universe will ultimately turn things around so that my dreams can, and will, flourish.

But right now? I gotta go. Sweetie and I have a date with some friends, a playground, and the sunshine. 

The Universe is a beautiful, awesome place. And I'm determined to enjoy it and its offerings in any way I can.


Monday, June 16, 2008

Mama Monday #28.1

Theme: Play

As the saying goes, All work and no play make Jack a dull boy (or Amy a dull girl, as the case may be). 

Keeping this in mind, and letting my love for the theater take control, I was more than happy to take a break from the stresses of job searching to watch The Tony Awards last night.

The play's - and the musical - the thing, after all.

In a word, they were awesome!.

This was a ton of fun:

As was Lin-Manuel Miranda's rappin' acceptance speech:

Another fabulously wacky acceptance speech for which I cannot find a video was Mark Rylance's win for Best Actor in a Play. Crazy, weird, and fun.

As a forever fan of Grease, the performance by the Broadway cast last night was great too. Especially considering how fun it was to watch Danny and Sandy win their roles from this reality show.

Then, of course, there was this opening song:

Breathtaking as always. Hubby and I were blessed enough to see The Lion King in Boston a few years back. There are no words for how fabulous that opening number is. I'd gladly pay full price tickets again just to see that introduction. But last night I finally got a chance to share that magic with Sweetie. She was glued to the T.V., fully enthralled.

Of course, I eventually did turn the T.V. off in order to job search once again. And I actually found something interesting with a company I'm familiar with that's not too far from home. I was able to get a cover letter and my resume sent off before heading to bed.

Back to the grindstone. But - man! - it was sure fun to play for awhile.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Sweetie Saturday #111 - She's Definitely Going To Be A Writer Edition

Or an English teacher. Or poet. Something to do with words... 

Playing with and experimenting with words continues to be a major theme in Sweetie's life:

Hubby put Sweetie to bed the other night and read to her a portion of her current bedtime book - A Little Princess. The last word he read that night happened to be "amiable".

As told to me by Hubby, Sweetie thought this was hilarious!

Amiable?! Like Mama's name? What does that mean?

It means "friendly".

Oh! Ha! I thought you were saying that Amy was a bull!

(Well, technically - I am. My May 20th birthday just barely makes me a Taurus).


Right at bedtime earlier this week, our computer screen caught my eye. It was doing something it had never done before and we're not sure how or why it was doing it then - it showed our photo of Sweetie's sonogram picture, then proceeded to slowly "back up", revealing hundreds of our digital photos, arranged in some sort of pattern. Before too long we saw that this collection of pics were now forming a photomosaic image of yet another of our pictures (which happened to be a picture of a baby Sweetie).

This was super cool to watch and Sweetie was fascinated. We all watched as that baby picture turned into yet another photomosaic image of - yes - another infant Sweetie pic.

Sweetie wanted to keep on watching to see what would happen next, but she needed to go to bed. And anyway, she accidentally jostled the mouse, which stopped the show anyway.

Sweetie agreed to have Daddy take her up to bed then, but was sure to instruct him:

Dad, when you come downstairs, see how you can show the baby makin' pictures again.


According to Sweetie, the word "lawyer" means someone who only has one name.

And the word "trousers" means when you only wear one shoe instead of two.


On Tuesday, Sweetie and I had a pajama day. Later in the morning, I remembered that I had mail I had to send off. I didn't want to go outside in my PJ's, but Sweetie's were cute and I didn't think she'd mind.

Sweetie, can you do me a favor and take this out to the mailbox?

By myself?!


I can take the mail out to the mailbox?! Wow! I've never done that chore before! Wow!

(She was equally as thrilled to retrieve the mail once it was delivered).

When Daddy came home that evening, the first thing out of her mouth to him was,

I got to put the mail in the mailbox!

(For the record, I kept my eye on her the entire time. The mailbox is not far from our front door at all. She did a fine job of her chore).


It was wicked hot here in New England early in the week. So much so that Hubby reluctantly decided to put the air conditioners in (something we'd rather wait as long as possible in the season before installing).

So he put our three in: One in Sweetie's "suite"/playroom off her bedroom, one at the top of our stairs in our "red room", and the last in our living room.

Hubby closed the door to Sweetie's playroom before he left, so the cool air from that A/C would stay contained in her bedroom area.

Cut to later that night at Sweetie's bedtime. I took her upstairs, with her running ahead of me as fast as she can - as usual.

And then?


Ow!... I didn't know the door was closed!

Ha! We all had a good laugh over that one. Even Sweetie thought her running into the door at full force was pretty darn funny.

The girl's got a great sense of humor.... usually. :)

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

A Wonderful Day

Today has been productive. I sent Sweetie off to my mom's for the day so I could get some important things checked off my TO DO list. Things like:

Job Hunting (check!)

Email Resume to Several Places I've Been Meaning to Contact (check!)

Email People I've Been Meaning to Contact (check!)

Set Up a Profile on (check!)

Respond to Emails Recently Received (check!)

Write (as we speak)

Clean (I'm working on it)

Locate Where I Can Purchase Heart Shaped Lollipops (I have a call in to a local candy shop)

Locate Where I Can Get a Mad Hatter Hat (I'm working on it)

Give Up Any Hope For Finding Blue & White Striped Tights (Done. We Don't Need No Stinkin' Tights!)

Oh! Hi there! Did I forget to tell you that Sweetie's Merry UnBirthday Alice In Wonderland Themed Half Birthday Party is next weekend?

I did? Huh. How did I let that slip by so stealthily?

So, uh... yeah! We're all in Party Mode around these parts! It's going to be quite the shindig!

The kids will play Pin The Smile on the Cheshire Cat.

Croquet will be set up to "play" (as well as 15+ small children are able to and/or are interested in playing croquet).

We'll have a "Painting the Roses Red" (or whatever ol' color you want) activity.

Kids will be dressed as characters from Alice in Wonderland.

There will be a "Looking Glass" (frame) for the kids to walk through.

And we'll all be nestled in my parents' big, wooded backyard - complete with wooden stumps for the kids to sit on (Sweetie - I mean Alice - will have a special mushroom-shaped stump) at a long table, where we'll dine on a 1/2 birthday cake (literally - I'll post pictures), apple juice "tea" and various other snacks.

Geesh! This is the most elaborate event I've ever planned! 

(Okay, maybe our wedding was more elaborate. But still - this is pretty big stuff here!).

Sweetie is very excited. Heck! I'm very excited! Even Hubby and my parents seem more than willing to help out and make this party rock! And Sweetie's Alice dress has been lent to us courtesy of Grammy and Grampy. 

What a family affair!

Let's all just pray for good weather, though - m'kay?! Because although I did learn from our wedding that "you must have backup!"... uhhhh.... we don't so much have a back up.

My parent's basement is pretty big... But it just won't have the same "wonder" inspiring environment....

Pictures to come. I promise!

Monday, June 09, 2008

Mama Monday #27.1

Theme: Begin

I'm beginning again. I did not get this job I wanted so very badly. I'm told it was a close call. But where my passion for and genuine interest in the subject flourished, my lack of professional editing experience fell just shy of that of the chosen candidate.

I am deeply saddened that I won't be taking on the awesome challenge I know this job would have provided for me. I'm still confident that, if given the chance, I could have done an outstanding job. But, as it stands, I do wish the new hire well and hope to see products grow and improve under her skilled leadership.

However - some good news! In light of not getting the job I applied for, I was, in fact, offered a freelance position as the editor for an annual publication put out by the same company. I am thrilled about this opportunity and am excitedly looking forward to doing my level best for both the magazine itself and the individuals, organizations and staff members involved. The subject matter of this magazine is close to my heart and I know I can help create a truly wonderful product!

And, who knows? Perhaps this freelance opportunity will lead to others within the same company. Perhaps even a permanent, full time position. Maybe, through this editorship, I'll come into contact with different companies, different employers who might be interested in hiring me for one of their open positions. 

Anything could happen. This path still may very well send me on to a promising not-too-distant future.

But as I wait to see what may or may not come from this, I'm facing reality square in the face:

I need a full time position with insurance benefits. And I need that PDQ.

If benefits didn't matter any, I'd be more than happy to make my living as a freelance writer and editor. I know how to find those jobs. I'm interested in those jobs. I've already secured some of those jobs! And I see virtually no problem in the possibility of securing more.

Except - freelance jobs don't provide benefits. My family needs benefits. The end.

Hubby will be asking about the possibility of getting benefits via his work with his dad. I know it's an option that's possible. But I also know that it's not the most ideal option. Mainly because of the cost of benefits vs. Hubby's non-regular work schedule. Having to account for regular health insurance costs when paychecks are not altogether regular is not a perfect fit by any means.

And so I begin again. Scanning the newspapers and on-line job placement sites, looking for some position - any position - that I'd be even remotely interested in applying for. 

Let me tell ya - there's not much out there that catches my eye.

Now if I were a technical writer, I'd have no problem at all! Technical writing jobs are all over the place. 

But me? I have not even the starting knowledge for how to write technical documents. I'm sure such things can be learned. But I can't even say that I have an interest in technical writing. 

Maybe it's just me, but I like to feel a personal connection to what I'm writing. Or, at the very least, an ability to both pronounce and understand the words that are coming out of my fingertips!

So - there you go. I'm bummed. I'm worried. I'm waking in the middle of the night and stressing out over "what are we going to doooooo???!!!!" Not only do we need some financial security here, but we need a sense of security on the insurance front as well!

I just keep reminding myself - we're not desperate yet. There is still time. A world of opportunity is still open to me. Anything can change. Anything can happen. We will be fine.

But - dang it! - I really could use some insurance assurance right about now!

Thursday, June 05, 2008

Sweetie Saturday #110 - Say What, Now? Edition

Every night lately, it seems I'm going to bed with a headache. I wonder why....

Okay, now.... Mom? If you have a mom... And you're my mom... That means you're a kid doubled by a mom. So you're a teenager!


Sweetie: What day is it today?

Me: Thursday.

Sweetie: Oh! I thought it was Saturday.

Me: Nope.

Sweetie: So today is the tomorrow after yesterday, then?


Last weekend Sweetie and I caught an early morning kid's show called Kid Guides. This particular episode talked all about spies. It was pretty interesting (or "instresting" in Sweetie language). She even learned all about writing in code!

Needless to say, we spent a good chunk of last weekend writing out secret codes for Sweetie to solve.

She did really well with it. I, on the other hand, had a tougher time figuring out the code in order to write her a secret message. Thank goodness there's more than one way to make a code. And thank goodness we have a sneaky Daddy who was more than happy to help us discover a simpler way to hide a message:

One of our more successful attempts:

Sweetie is a silly girl

Sweetie currently has a cold. Yesterday I gave her one of these Triaminic Thin Strips. I'd never given them to her before, but we got them as free samples in the mail. Might as well give 'em a shot.

The verdict? Well, I'm not sure how well they worked in terms of her cold symptoms. But one thing's for sure - A Sweetie hopped up on Thin Strips is one crazy girl!

For example, I gave her one dosage not 10 minutes before arriving at Trader Joe's. Prior to this, she was a low key, stuffy chick. But then, as we approached the grocery store, there Sweetie was - bopping around in her booster seat, "singing" (err, I mean - high pitched screaching) -

Chickezie! Chickezie! Chickezie!

Over and over and over again.

And laughing her silly little head off.

(Admittedly, so were Hubby and I. She was so gone!)

Luckily, Sweetie stopped this nutzoid business before we entered the store. And I've reverted to the tried and true means of children's cold relief.

Thank goodness! We all need our rest.


Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Thanks, Sweetie. You're The Best.

Dear Sweetie -

I am so exceptionally proud of your unmitigated bravery, deciding without question that you'd take yourself downstairs, all the way across the house, to the corner bathroom just to fulfill your early morning desire for a cool cup of water. A walking tour done all alone, in the darkness of 3:45 a.m this morning.

You wasted no time, you got the job done, and you even took yourself back to bed. Well done!

However, you didn't have to wake me up to alert me to your plan. 

No. Really. You didn't.

Nor did you have to come back to me at 4:45 a.m. to tell me about the "nightmare" you had. And from your extremely wordy, extremely energetic, mama-I'm-fully-awake-right-now description, it really didn't sound to me like it was all that scary. Not that I can accurately remember everything you said as I walked you back to your bed. Something about playing Fetch with Ruff Ruffman, only Ruff wasn't there, so you were the host, so it was really Fetch with (Sweetie) and there were cats who were mad at you for some reason or another and they hissed at you and that was the scary part. And it was going to be a long dream so that when you fell asleep again you'd certainly see the scary cats again.

Whatever. Just stop talking, Sweetie. Relax and think about nice things. The dream won't come back because you already stopped it by waking up. 

Oh, you didn't know that? You're welcome. Glad I could explain that to you. Sweet dreams, Sweetie. Stay in bed.

And thank you, Sweetie. For staying in bed for yet another whole hour. It wasn't until 5:45 - after Daddy's first wake up alarm went off - when you came back to me, explaining that, yes indeed, you can in fact keep dreaming about the bad dream.

Oh well. At least that visit was very short lived. Just a quick update from you regarding how your non-sleepiness is proceeding. In case I was interested. 

Yes, very much so. Thanks. And now that Daddy's about to get up in less than 10 minutes, I suppose there's really no hope of me - or you - getting any more sleep tonight. 

No. Really. Three and a half hours is all I need. I am Mama! I am invincible! I have been wide awake since 3:45 a.m.!

This is going to be one fun day. 

But then... remarkably... Daddy got out of bed and you didn't come running. I anticipated your arrival with every downstairs noise Daddy made. I was awake anyway, so after awhile I turned on my light and did some crosswords. Surely you're going to show up very, very soon.

But you didn't.

Thank you.

I finally grew sleepy again, turning out my light around 7 a.m. I slept a glorious sleep for the length of one full hour.

8:00 a.m. and all is quiet.

But - 8:00 a.m. and all, certainly, cannot remain quiet for long. On again with my light. Back to my crossword puzzles. Time much better spent than the earlier, darker hours. Nothing much to do then but to worry (uh, I mean wonder) about whether I will or won't get a certain positive phone call this week.

When is that phone call going to come, anyway??!!! And will it, in fact, be a positive one? At 4:15 a.m., one can never feel too good about such things.

So thank you for that time, Sweetie. Really. I was able to complete about five or six puzzles before I finally decided to get out of bed. At 8:55 a.m. 

I'd have stayed put longer. But I know you. You're "instructed" to get up each morning at 7 or 8 a.m. It is ALWAYS 7:00 a.m. when you exuberantly come to my bedside every day. Perhaps as late as 7:05 a.m. Never later.

Until today.

I knew if I let the clock pass 9:00 a.m. that you would collapse besides yourself

I'm supposed to get up at 7 or 8! Now it's 9:00! I did it wrooooooonnnnnnggggg!!!!!!

So I got myself up at 8:55 a.m. Not to wake you up directly (I do know better than to wake a sleeping Sweetie). But perhaps my movements and noises would "naturally" arouse you from your slumber.

I was right.

Just before 9:00 a.m. you happily came to greet me in the bathroom. Amazed with yourself that you slept past 7, all the way to 8! Yet not even mildly upset with yourself for doing so.

Just the way I like it. Thank you.

Our day together proceeded nicely. I mean, if you take away your fall off the "tomato wall", wherein you completely tore up your lower right leg. And then if we try to forget about your hot, bothered and desperately thirsty, whiney car ride home from our otherwise fun playground playdate with H_____ and her mom. 

Heck! I was hot, bothered and thirsty too. I understand. Next time, we'll be smarter and bring cold refreshments with us.

At least you didn't fight with me about leaving the playground - instead asking me to please let us leave so we could buy some drinks on the way home.

But, yeah. Other than those issues, our day was very nice. You even handled your dentist appointment with your typical humor and great every day! attitude. 

Oh! And four more loose teeth??!!! Two teeth now gone, two more rather wiggly, and another two just starting?! And the beginning appearance of your 6-year old molars trying to come on in?! What a wild and crazily active mouth you've got goin' on there, girly! Good job on that!

But anyway. Tonight? Can we please try to have a more sedentary time of it? Cuz, I mean, I don't know about you, but I was all about the sleep and the good dreams and the comfy bed last night. 

Right up until 3:45 a.m. when you made your very brave, very determined announcement regarding your lone journey to the downstairs corner of our house.

Next time - just keep it to yourself.

Thank you.

Loving you always,


Monday, June 02, 2008

Mama Monday #26.1

Theme: Long

Long arms:


Long legs:


Long back:


Long hair:


Sigh... And to think... it wasn't too long ago that she was a teeny, tiny baby.


Parenthood: Simultaneously longing for the old days, while lovingly providing a firm foundation from which your child can grow. Hoping to see her confidently set out on a long, happy, and healthy life's journey.