Monday, June 09, 2008

Mama Monday #27.1

Theme: Begin

I'm beginning again. I did not get this job I wanted so very badly. I'm told it was a close call. But where my passion for and genuine interest in the subject flourished, my lack of professional editing experience fell just shy of that of the chosen candidate.

I am deeply saddened that I won't be taking on the awesome challenge I know this job would have provided for me. I'm still confident that, if given the chance, I could have done an outstanding job. But, as it stands, I do wish the new hire well and hope to see products grow and improve under her skilled leadership.

However - some good news! In light of not getting the job I applied for, I was, in fact, offered a freelance position as the editor for an annual publication put out by the same company. I am thrilled about this opportunity and am excitedly looking forward to doing my level best for both the magazine itself and the individuals, organizations and staff members involved. The subject matter of this magazine is close to my heart and I know I can help create a truly wonderful product!

And, who knows? Perhaps this freelance opportunity will lead to others within the same company. Perhaps even a permanent, full time position. Maybe, through this editorship, I'll come into contact with different companies, different employers who might be interested in hiring me for one of their open positions. 

Anything could happen. This path still may very well send me on to a promising not-too-distant future.

But as I wait to see what may or may not come from this, I'm facing reality square in the face:

I need a full time position with insurance benefits. And I need that PDQ.

If benefits didn't matter any, I'd be more than happy to make my living as a freelance writer and editor. I know how to find those jobs. I'm interested in those jobs. I've already secured some of those jobs! And I see virtually no problem in the possibility of securing more.

Except - freelance jobs don't provide benefits. My family needs benefits. The end.

Hubby will be asking about the possibility of getting benefits via his work with his dad. I know it's an option that's possible. But I also know that it's not the most ideal option. Mainly because of the cost of benefits vs. Hubby's non-regular work schedule. Having to account for regular health insurance costs when paychecks are not altogether regular is not a perfect fit by any means.

And so I begin again. Scanning the newspapers and on-line job placement sites, looking for some position - any position - that I'd be even remotely interested in applying for. 

Let me tell ya - there's not much out there that catches my eye.

Now if I were a technical writer, I'd have no problem at all! Technical writing jobs are all over the place. 

But me? I have not even the starting knowledge for how to write technical documents. I'm sure such things can be learned. But I can't even say that I have an interest in technical writing. 

Maybe it's just me, but I like to feel a personal connection to what I'm writing. Or, at the very least, an ability to both pronounce and understand the words that are coming out of my fingertips!

So - there you go. I'm bummed. I'm worried. I'm waking in the middle of the night and stressing out over "what are we going to doooooo???!!!!" Not only do we need some financial security here, but we need a sense of security on the insurance front as well!

I just keep reminding myself - we're not desperate yet. There is still time. A world of opportunity is still open to me. Anything can change. Anything can happen. We will be fine.

But - dang it! - I really could use some insurance assurance right about now!

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