Saturday, April 21, 2012

Pain Management

Me: Sweetie, are you stuffy? 
Sweetie: No! 
Hubby: Oh, my feet, Amy. Oh, my back. Oh, my head!
Me: ...  (hobbles around, winces as I get up from sitting, takes some meds if pains are too bad and waits in silence as they tackle the problem area).
Pain and illness. We all have our own way of dealing with it. Hubby speaks of his often to me. Sweetie practically takes offense if you suggest to her she's anything but "great" in every way. And I - perhaps the person who's most in any sort of regular physical pain here? Maybe? I don't know? - just deal with it in relative silence and carry on with life.
None of these coping mechanisms are ideal, of course. Hubby's complaints no longer strike me as anything more than just words. And I’m frustrated that, for some reason or another, Sweetie seems to think it's an absolute weakness to be sick or pained in any way. Or, when I'm really concerned about her, I imagine that she perhaps feels not-so-hot all the time, so that she's used to it by now and it's just the way it is. She no longer remembers what it's like to feel truly great, so what she regularly feels is "great" to her, even though I perceive her to be a little out of sorts.
Or maybe she's fine. I don't know. She's a mystery wrapped in an enigma who likes to tell riddles, that one.
And I, well... when I do speak up with a complaint (not so much a complaint, really. Just an acknowledgement that I'm feeling a little more worse for wear than usual), or Hubby recognizes in me that something hurts... I've been told I’m being a martyr. Bucking up and dealing with my problems, but not actively doing anything to take care of them, and moving on in a less than ideal physical state, when I don't have to.
Ah, I see. Sweetie does take after me, doesn't she? The difference? I'll admit to aches and pains if asked. Sweetie won't. When asked, in fact, Sweetie will get exasperated with you (okay, me), roll her eyes, and tell you "I'm fine!" Literally, it's as if she thinks it's some sort of personal defeat to admit illness or pain.
Not that she won't tell us, sometimes, when she's feeling bad. She tells us on occasion when she has a slight headache. If she feels funny in the belly, like she's really going to be sick, of course she tells us. But for the average coldy, sniffly, or regular Lyme Disease-y days... eh. She's fine, mom! Great! Never better!
As for Hubby and me... I think Hubby is like a lot of Hubbies out there. He doesn't complain at all to the average person. He just complains to me. Perhaps he could find a way to manage better on his own, and move on. Whereas I, I'm sure, really should do more to help myself, maybe even let others know more often that it hurts me to do this or that, rather than sit in silent pain as often as I do. I have easy access to a chiropractor, but I don't get adjusted because we can't afford it. If I get really hypochondriacal about my issues (which, believe me, I can... I just don't tell anyone my worries), I know I really should make myself a doctor's appointment and get some tests done. But then, we can't afford that either... even more so... so I don't. So I live with things as is, which isn't great.
And Sweetie? She probably has the best observation/coping skills of us all, when it comes down to it. She probably hears Hubby regularly mentioning his pains, and how easily I can ignore him because I hear the same things from him all the time... and knows that's not quite right. And she probably sees me wincing and silently "dealing" with my issues... and she knows that's not quite right either. So she adopts her status of usual greatness, not allowing herself to be "weak" and sick, and only lets us know when things really take a turn for the worse for her.
To get even more deep with it... maybe Sweetie perceives that my life in general is tougher physically than anyone else she knows, yet I rarely complain. So what right does she have, she may feel, to mention any of her little problems?
As I said, none of our ways is the proper way to manage one's own health. We each need to work on things. For me, I know it would do me well to remember more often that not only am I Hubby’s help-mate, but he is mine. We are here for each other, even through - especially through - sickness and pain. When he tells me about his aches and pains, I can possibly help him through some of that. And, if only I told him more often about mine, perhaps I’d feel just a little bit better myself because of the care he can offer me. 
I don't know that I have any real sort of point to this post. It’s all just something I wanted to write out to see if, through the writing process, I could make some heads and tails of the situation. Why we each are the way we are. Usually, that happens for me - writing makes everything more clear. This time, though? Not so much. It's still a murky mess of random observations.
Oh well. So, this one may have been a waste of time. And I've been sitting here for quite awhile writing it all. The more I sit in one place, the more my back hurts when I finally get up.
I guess that's what I get for writing about pain. More pain.

Saturday, April 14, 2012

No, Seriously... We're Moving On...

Hey! So did I tell you guys we're moving? No? Well, we are. We're moving! Yay!

Where, you ask? Funny answer...

Right next door.

Yup. It was an interesting turn of events that I needn't bore you with, but when our neighbor/friend/Sweetie's Destination Imagination coach told us she's moving a few towns north and her house was available, we jumped at the chance to move right in.

Well, "move right in" at the very end of May. But still... it's coming fast and furious enough!

The big impetus to get out of our current rental house is the fact that Sweetie's bedroom (if you can even call it that) is uber-tiny. Big enough for her twin bed and dresser and little else. It's really a bed annex, actually. Didn't even have a door on it when we moved in, and now only sports one of those accordion style doors. In our new place, not only will Sweetie have a bedroom twice the size of her current one, but a separate playroom to boot. PLUS we'll have even one more "extra" space, which will become the study of sorts (part art room/guest room/study/catch-all room).

Hubby is also super excited to be gaining some extra land. Here on our current plot we have almost literally no space at all. A teeny front "yard" and no back or side yard to speak of. At the new house, right next door, we are gaining not only a very nice sized garden (yay!) but a back yard space to play and relax in as well. Our neighbor/soon-to-be landlady has always been quite the gardener, and Hubby is itching to get back to playing in the dirt, like he did at our old house, and grow us some yummy fruits and veggies to enjoy. Can't wait!

Another great thing, especially for me, is that we will now be "one-floor living." Technically, the master bedroom in the new house is upstairs. But the one bathroom in the house is downstairs (opposite of our situation now.) It's not often that I need the bathroom in the middle of the night, but when I do - I do. And I can't have it down a flight of stairs from where I'm sleeping. I can walk without my braces, but not easily, or safely. Especially in the dark while I'm super sleepy! And so, we'll be turning what is currently the living room of the new house into our master bedroom. So the master upstairs, now becomes the extra room. And the second bedroom upstairs, the playroom (what will be Sweetie's bedroom is also on the main floor - used to be the bedroom of our neighbor's daughter.)

Not to fret! There's a beautiful, bright, 4-season sunroom downstairs that will become our main living area. We haven't lost a thing!

And I'm gaining a dishwasher!!! This may be the best news of it ALL!!!

We're already packing up boxes and just alerted our current landlords today of our intentions to vacate their premises. This is real, folks! Anyone free on Memorial Day weekend who wants to help us with our Bucket Brigade style moving method is more than welcome to come on over and heave boxes.

On a more serious note... we always figured that, once we were ready to leave this house, we'd leave this town as well. Haven't heard the best of things about the teachers in the upper elementary grades and secondary school in town, you see. We want to see Sweetie continue to thrive in school, and get as many positive educational opportunities as possible as she grows, and we just weren't sure this town offers all that we want for her academically. Still not sure. Actually, no... we know for a fact that this small mill town is NOT the best place to send a bright, curious, enthusiastic, self-motivating, school-loving Sweetie. But... we also know that our bright, curious, enthusiastic, self-motivating, school-loving Sweetie WILL thrive if we remain 100% behind her and 100% involved in her education, no matter where we live or where she goes to school. She'll keep with D.I., which she loves, and that alone, I know, will encourage her to continue her creative, quick-thinking problem solving ways. And we will be behind her throughout her school career to push her and challenge her as her teachers do, or beyond what her teachers do - whichever the case may be. Basically, Sweetie will do just fine and prove her smarts no matter where she is.

And we do like this small, New England town. And we do like our neighborhood. This opportunity to move right next door, to the bigger house with the bigger yard is just perfect for us.

Yes, we're moving on, indeed. Onward and upward, here we go...

Sunday, April 08, 2012

Moving On...

Hi there! This is just a quick post to let you know about Hubby and my new blog - Our SubLyme Life. Now that we have an official diagnosis for Sweetie, we thought it would be a good idea to separate two main blog themes into two different blogs.

So, for continued coverage of all things Lyme related, you'll have to scoot on over to our new digs. Here, at Spina Bifida Moms, I plan to get back to our regularly scheduled programming.

Of course, I'm sure I won't be able to totally keep any discussion of Sweetie's progression with her Lyme diagnosis out of what I write here. In fact, I just published a new post at Our SubLyme Life that really could have been posted here instead. But for the most part, I will attempt to put appropriate posts on appropriate blogs.

Join me for our continued ride, here and there, won't you?