Old

In playing around on Facebook, I've encountered quite a few quizzes that ask some form of the question "when did you start to feel old?"

This year. This has been a heck of a year. This year I feel old.

Hubby and I are celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary this year.

My niece is getting married this year.

And this year's birthday was the first birthday of my life that I was not looking forward to acknowledging.

Happy, happy, joy, joy.

This year's birthday (observed about 2 months ago) was a difficult one for me. I'd reached an age I deemed as "old". Of course, I'm the youngest in my family and I generally feel like the true baby of the family that I am whenever I'm around them. But still - my birthday marked the passing of a great many years, in my eyes, and I did not relish in it.

But when all's said and done - who cares about any given number? It's just a number, right? You are only as old as you feel. And how old you feel plays in a great deal to how old you look. Well, I've always looked much younger than I actually am (I once was given the children's menu at Friendly's when I was 18 years old!). And, frankly, I've pretty much always hated looking so much younger than I am. But nowadays - well, I'm appreciating it more and more.

Except for now - this "old" year - I began to see age (sun?) spots and smile wrinkles appear on my face as the sun's intensity increased with the change of seasons... time for the age defying creams and eye gels!

Well, okay.... but now I see age spots on the backs of my hands. Age spots! My mom and grandmothers have age spots! I do not want age spots!!!!

So... the look of youth is fading just a little. I still feel pretty young....

... or not.

I have become increasing sore. Very, very sore. 

Sore shoulders. As pained a lower back as ever - more so, perhaps. Sore arms. Sore legs. The inability to walk long distances (I mean, long distances for me... which have never been that long in the first place.) Much slower and belabored steps to climb up to our house's second floor. Just. Plain. Pain.

It makes me wonder if I'm more sore because I'm not moving around as much as I was when I worked in an office... or because I am now moving around more. What to do? Deliberately exercise more, or chill out a bit more and ask for even more help from Sweetie & Hubby than I already do?

I admit to not exercising. I guess I figure that the mere act of getting around has always been a bit of a workout for me in the first place. I don't need to actually set aside time to exercise when life in general is one big workout session for me, right? Hmmph... 

Anyway, we're working on the house big time these days, getting it sell-ready. We still need to move for financial reasons - too much in mortgage payments going out & way not enough money coming in. And we've always included the fact that this house is too much house for us in our decision to move as well. But now, to me, that fact is not just a secondary problem. We need to move for lots of reasons - not least of which is my increasing inability to get around this old, 2-story farmhouse. 

Yes, you are only as old as you feel and age is but a number. But this year seems to have kicked my butt & I am truly feeling...

old.