She'd been sick for weeks. Maybe a month or more. Coldy. Stuffy. And then? A cough. Not too terrible during the day, but enough to keep her, and us, up at night. Finally I kept her home one day, just to see if some rest would help shake it. And it kind of did - the cough eased up a bit soon thereafter. But the congestion was still there. She blamed it on "fall allergies." I paid little attention to her position on the matter, though. Until finally Hubby and I informed her - "You know? People really rarely get fall allergies. This isn't allergies. You have a cold."
Fine. A simple cold. She's a trooper and never complains. She was well enough to continue going to school. Even seeming to get better! Until last Monday. Well, she seemed better. So much so that, to be honest, I wasn't even thinking of her as sick any longer. But then, just as school was wrapping up for the day I got the call. The school nurse, informing me that Sweetie had just vomited all over herself. She needed to be picked up and, beyond that, to stay out of school until she was vomit free for 24 hours.
That evening, she was not well. I hoped it was a fluke. Thought it may actually have been! She was holding down sips of flat soda for a good couple of hours until... yeah, not so much. The rest of the evening was much the same. No, this wasn't a fluke. Obviously, she really was sick. Not to mention the nurse said this was, in fact, "going around."
But the next day - her required day out of school - she was fine. Feeling hungry, cautiously eating and drinking bland foods. Success! Good spirits, feeling better, all was A-okay. Back to school the next day and okay ever since.
But... her eyes. She just looks, you know, sickly. Dark circles shadow eyes. She's... quiet. Not that she's really ever been a rowdy kid when we're here at home. She can and does often play inside quietly and contentedly on her own - crafting or drawing or pretending. But now she's just, I don't know... tired acting and looking. Getting as much sleep as she ever has. But... she's just not herself. And, yes, we did change back the clocks - was it last weekend? Heck! I've been overly tired this week too! But, I don't know. She's not had difficulty adjusting to time changes before. And the circles... it's not just been this week. I've noticed them before. Often, actually. This past late spring and summer, for instance. And then she was, in fact, ill. Contracting and then fighting Lyme Disease. She was treated. She responded well. She seemed almost instantly better! All is well in the end, where this is concerned.
...Or is it? Has the disease actually been kicked from her system? Can we even tell? I've read about and been told of the relatively common false negatives that occur from testing, especially from a person who's been recently treated for the disease. And I also know that, even when successfully treated, certain symptoms can crop up and stick with you for several months after finishing antibiotics. So maybe that's just it. She's good, but just still feeling the effects of this crazy disease... even though she has successfully rid it from her system.
Or... maybe it's still with her. Maybe it will always be with her. Maybe she will feel worse and worser still. Lyme Disease affects so many people in almost just as many different ways. One person suffers from headaches. Another has terrible mood swings. Yet another deals with great fatigue and body aches and pains. Who knows - if this is what it is - what her specific issues may be long term.
Or... maybe she's just struggling with this ongoing congestion bug. I do, after all, know of other kids who have had this apparent cold for many, many weeks straight through. It very well could be a particularly nasty cold strain that just won't let go.
Still... I'm keeping my eye on her. Tonight she complained of feeling "hungry" as I put her to bed, even though she reasoned out that she couldn't possibly be hungry since she'd just had a good dinner. I gave her a drink of water and told her to cuddle up with her "Love Bug" bear - a stuffed animal she only cuddles with when not feeling well. Love Bug has worked wonders in the past to make her feel much better. Here's hoping tonight is no different.
I'm paying attention. I'm watching. If she continues to be sick, if she actually falls obviously ill again, I will be calling the doctor. She will be tested again. We will get to the bottom of what's going on.
She has never been a "sick kid". She's had one ear infection ever. She's a trooper. She doesn't complain. And when she is sick, she gets over it fast.
This time? It's just not fast enough for my liking...
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Tuesday, October 04, 2011
Teaching That Which We Cannot Do
You know that saying that goes, in part and paraphrased, "Those who can't do, teach."? Well, Hubby and I seem to be living examples of this.
We went to Sweetie's parent/teacher conference the other day. I had previously met her teacher at the parents open house the first week of school and I knew right then and there that I loved this woman. A long-time educator. Very dedicated! Very passionate! So enthusiastic! Years and years of exploring and adding to and adjusting her teaching philosophy. Just a really great teacher.
And now? She has increased my love for her by demonstrating how well she has watched, thought about, and now teaches and manages our Sweetie.
She has also pegged Sweetie probably better than anyone has ever been able to verbalize it before by stating:
"I don't think I have ever met anyone as comfortable in their own skin" as Sweetie is.
Wow. Yes. Exactly.
Sweetie is happy to play with the girls or the boys or by herself. She gets along with all her classmates and they all seem to like her. But the truth is, she'd prefer to spend recesses and free time playing on her own, making up plays or songs in her head and then acting them out.
If someone does think Sweetie's doing something a bit weird... eh. Sweetie doesn't care. Probably doesn't even recognize that someone else thinks her actions are odd. Sweetie knows she's having fun and that's all that matters to her.
We were at the Big Orange Box store this weekend, collecting parts and pieces for Sweetie's Halloween costume this year (a robot). One of the things we picked up was a small, plastic, blue pail that we'll spray paint silver. This will become her robot helmet. Well, Sweetie was wearing this blue pail on her head all throughout the store. Kids stared. Grownups smiled. One little girl asked her why she had a bucket on her head, to which Sweetie replied that it's going to be part of her robot costume (duh!). The girl looked at me and, with a smile, said, "She's silly." Did any of this embarrass Sweetie one little bit? Heck no! She was having fun! On her own! Not because others were paying attention to her. Hardly! No, she was plain old having fun, practicing her robot voice and Halloween look.
And speaking of Halloween costumes... who else but Sweetie would ever chose to be, and then revel in the act of being a stick of butter? Wouldn't kids think that was weird? How did she ever think of being something so odd? We may never know the answers to these questions, but I can tell you that little Miss Sweetie was nothing but pleased with herself - and her Daddy for making the costume - that particular year.
But. There is a downside to Sweetie's very internal, self confident nature. And that is that Sweetie lives on Sweetie time. Which is to say, since day one of Kindergarten, Sweetie has been a very competently skilled child - yes, but a very slow to action child. She'll get things done, for sure. She'll just get things done on her own time, thank you very much.
This has always been Sweetie's issue and continues to be her issue. But, at least for now, her teacher - after much thought - has decided that she won't make this be a real problem for Sweetie academically. Her teacher said she's thought about this a lot - whether or not she should truly get on Sweetie's case more to pick up the pace in her school work. But in the end, at least for now, she told us, "(Sweetie) isn't bothered by it (her own slow work speed), so I've decided I'm not going to be bothered by it."
Hubby has always tried to impress upon Sweetie - knowing her typical slower pace - that we don't care how long it takes her to do something, as long as she's getting things right.
Well. We are having to change our tune a bit now.
Yes, it does matter how long it takes to get something done. I've explained to Sweetie, for instance, that she could write the most beautiful, detailed, creative story ever - a story that deserves the top grade! - but if that story's not ready to hand in until the day after the teacher says it's due... well, then. Your teacher has every right to give you the worst grade possible for your work.
Timing counts. Deadlines mean something. Now means now.
Getting back to Sweetie's comfortableness within her own skin... this means, too, that Sweetie is not affected by outside motivation. Her teacher has a coupon-based classroom in which students can earn and lose coupons based on things such as behavior and turning assignments in on time. But, see... Sweetie seems not all that interested in the coupons and what they can do for her (earn her prizes such as homework passes and snacks, among other things.) Such treats are nice, sure, but not nice enough to light a fire under her to get things done quicker.
Hubby and I see this as each year's birthday for her and Christmas rolls around. Sweetie rarely ever wants anything specific. She's not a very materialistic kid. I've had to gently guide her toward asking for whatever it is I know already she's going to be getting for Christmas. Last year, for instance, I felt she needed a sticker book because she has so many loose stickers around the house that she's collected from doctor's appointments and such and I thought it would be great for her to have a place to keep them all. And so, "a sticker book" became the thing she told people she really wanted from Santa last year.
(BTW - she got this sticker book and has not ONCE even opened it. Ever.)
Still. Comfortable within her own skin. Not shy. A careful worker. An interested student. A top student with her skills. A well-liked kid. Self motivated. Non-materialistic.
None - absolutely none of that - sounds bad to me at all.
And still, I wonder, how on Earth did we get a kid like this!
Hubby and I are both shy, quiet people - always have been, and still are. I am certainly not as self confident or comfortable with myself as I should or could be, and neither, I think, is he. He was a distracted, day dreaming student. I was a decent student who did enough to get by, but never interested enough to surpass. And we are both, sadly, way more materialistic than we should be. My materialistic nature, though, has settled down within the last several years, I admit. I'd be much happier with a gift of a fun experience than a physical gift these days, for instance. But Hubby, I think, still tends toward the material gifts. He surely knows the wonder and awesomeness that can exist in gifts of experience, but he also needs/wants new boots, new tools, new clothes, etc., etc., etc...
So how is it that he and I have so successfully taught the importance of confidence, hard work, and true gifts to our growing little girl?
And here I repeat my opening thoughts... Those who can't do, teach.
Our actual lessons remain a mystery to me still. But I see this above statement as absolutely the truth.
We were not/are not this way, my child. Therefore you will be.
I am motivated everyday to continue raising Sweetie just the way we have been, whether with purposeful lessons or happy "accidental" lessons "taught" on a daily basis, simply by seeing her flourish and grow and mature into the amazing little girl she continues to be.
We cannot do, but we are teaching well. Obviously.
We went to Sweetie's parent/teacher conference the other day. I had previously met her teacher at the parents open house the first week of school and I knew right then and there that I loved this woman. A long-time educator. Very dedicated! Very passionate! So enthusiastic! Years and years of exploring and adding to and adjusting her teaching philosophy. Just a really great teacher.
And now? She has increased my love for her by demonstrating how well she has watched, thought about, and now teaches and manages our Sweetie.
She has also pegged Sweetie probably better than anyone has ever been able to verbalize it before by stating:
"I don't think I have ever met anyone as comfortable in their own skin" as Sweetie is.
Wow. Yes. Exactly.
Sweetie is happy to play with the girls or the boys or by herself. She gets along with all her classmates and they all seem to like her. But the truth is, she'd prefer to spend recesses and free time playing on her own, making up plays or songs in her head and then acting them out.
If someone does think Sweetie's doing something a bit weird... eh. Sweetie doesn't care. Probably doesn't even recognize that someone else thinks her actions are odd. Sweetie knows she's having fun and that's all that matters to her.
We were at the Big Orange Box store this weekend, collecting parts and pieces for Sweetie's Halloween costume this year (a robot). One of the things we picked up was a small, plastic, blue pail that we'll spray paint silver. This will become her robot helmet. Well, Sweetie was wearing this blue pail on her head all throughout the store. Kids stared. Grownups smiled. One little girl asked her why she had a bucket on her head, to which Sweetie replied that it's going to be part of her robot costume (duh!). The girl looked at me and, with a smile, said, "She's silly." Did any of this embarrass Sweetie one little bit? Heck no! She was having fun! On her own! Not because others were paying attention to her. Hardly! No, she was plain old having fun, practicing her robot voice and Halloween look.
And speaking of Halloween costumes... who else but Sweetie would ever chose to be, and then revel in the act of being a stick of butter? Wouldn't kids think that was weird? How did she ever think of being something so odd? We may never know the answers to these questions, but I can tell you that little Miss Sweetie was nothing but pleased with herself - and her Daddy for making the costume - that particular year.
But. There is a downside to Sweetie's very internal, self confident nature. And that is that Sweetie lives on Sweetie time. Which is to say, since day one of Kindergarten, Sweetie has been a very competently skilled child - yes, but a very slow to action child. She'll get things done, for sure. She'll just get things done on her own time, thank you very much.
This has always been Sweetie's issue and continues to be her issue. But, at least for now, her teacher - after much thought - has decided that she won't make this be a real problem for Sweetie academically. Her teacher said she's thought about this a lot - whether or not she should truly get on Sweetie's case more to pick up the pace in her school work. But in the end, at least for now, she told us, "(Sweetie) isn't bothered by it (her own slow work speed), so I've decided I'm not going to be bothered by it."
She assured us that Sweetie is not "goofing off", day dreaming, or otherwise being distracted or trying to get out of doing school work. She's happily doing the work she's given. She's just a very careful, very slow "doer". And Lord help us if there is any creative aspect to the work that needs to be done! Any drawing or coloring of pictures, for instance. Such a project as that is doomed to take Sweetie twice again as long to complete.
Hubby has always tried to impress upon Sweetie - knowing her typical slower pace - that we don't care how long it takes her to do something, as long as she's getting things right.
Well. We are having to change our tune a bit now.
Yes, it does matter how long it takes to get something done. I've explained to Sweetie, for instance, that she could write the most beautiful, detailed, creative story ever - a story that deserves the top grade! - but if that story's not ready to hand in until the day after the teacher says it's due... well, then. Your teacher has every right to give you the worst grade possible for your work.
Timing counts. Deadlines mean something. Now means now.
Getting back to Sweetie's comfortableness within her own skin... this means, too, that Sweetie is not affected by outside motivation. Her teacher has a coupon-based classroom in which students can earn and lose coupons based on things such as behavior and turning assignments in on time. But, see... Sweetie seems not all that interested in the coupons and what they can do for her (earn her prizes such as homework passes and snacks, among other things.) Such treats are nice, sure, but not nice enough to light a fire under her to get things done quicker.
Hubby and I see this as each year's birthday for her and Christmas rolls around. Sweetie rarely ever wants anything specific. She's not a very materialistic kid. I've had to gently guide her toward asking for whatever it is I know already she's going to be getting for Christmas. Last year, for instance, I felt she needed a sticker book because she has so many loose stickers around the house that she's collected from doctor's appointments and such and I thought it would be great for her to have a place to keep them all. And so, "a sticker book" became the thing she told people she really wanted from Santa last year.
(BTW - she got this sticker book and has not ONCE even opened it. Ever.)
Still. Comfortable within her own skin. Not shy. A careful worker. An interested student. A top student with her skills. A well-liked kid. Self motivated. Non-materialistic.
None - absolutely none of that - sounds bad to me at all.
And still, I wonder, how on Earth did we get a kid like this!
Hubby and I are both shy, quiet people - always have been, and still are. I am certainly not as self confident or comfortable with myself as I should or could be, and neither, I think, is he. He was a distracted, day dreaming student. I was a decent student who did enough to get by, but never interested enough to surpass. And we are both, sadly, way more materialistic than we should be. My materialistic nature, though, has settled down within the last several years, I admit. I'd be much happier with a gift of a fun experience than a physical gift these days, for instance. But Hubby, I think, still tends toward the material gifts. He surely knows the wonder and awesomeness that can exist in gifts of experience, but he also needs/wants new boots, new tools, new clothes, etc., etc., etc...
So how is it that he and I have so successfully taught the importance of confidence, hard work, and true gifts to our growing little girl?
And here I repeat my opening thoughts... Those who can't do, teach.
Our actual lessons remain a mystery to me still. But I see this above statement as absolutely the truth.
We were not/are not this way, my child. Therefore you will be.
I am motivated everyday to continue raising Sweetie just the way we have been, whether with purposeful lessons or happy "accidental" lessons "taught" on a daily basis, simply by seeing her flourish and grow and mature into the amazing little girl she continues to be.
We cannot do, but we are teaching well. Obviously.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Adventures in Things I Cannot Do
And this weekend? I think we (okay, they) are trying their hand at roller skating.
Skiing, though. I've done that! Neither of them has ever hit the slopes before.
I take pretty good pictures, though.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
"Abled" Parent
If you haven't already figured it out by now, I am a thinker. So much so, at times, that it is to my detriment. I worry. I consider all the possibilities. I wonder how or what others think of the same situation from their viewpoint. I think. Therefore, I am.
And so, with that - you guessed it - I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. A lot of soul searching. No, it doesn't exactly help much that one of the places I work is an interfaith spiritual theology school where I have recently been doing a fair amount of reading and editing of coursework text. Learning, as I read, how to be truer to myself. How to be authentic. How to live my purpose. Be bold. Be brave.
And I keep coming back to the same thing. Over and over again. It haunts me.
I have to write.
The specific thing that continues to run through my mind is the remembrance of a visit I once had, back nearly half my lifetime ago, to a fortune teller. A friend and I went - my friend writing down all the predictions this seer saw for my future. And there, among them, was that I would be published. Twice over, in fact. One would be a sort an autobiography of sorts (uhhh, hello! Can anyone say "blog"?) And the other would be more of a fiction, she thought.
Now, I don't care what you're particular views on fortune tellers are. You may or may not take any stock in them whatsoever. That's fine. Heck, I don't even know exactly what my opinion of them are. But, I suppose, if tested, I'd have to say, "Why not? Why can't there be those among us who can see more deeply than others? Can see more clearly what laid before us and what's in store ahead? We all have our special talents."
And anyway, there were some other things she said that day that absolutely did make specific sense from my past or, as I lived and saw, came true in that day's near future.
For one thing - my meeting Hubby was predicted. And I did. At the time she said I would. He looked as she said he would. She had him pegged.
But, yeah... she predicted I'd be a published author. And here I sit, edging in closer and closer to 40 years on this earth, without having done a thing about making this happen.
But then again, I always have really felt that this was sort of a self-fulfilling prophecy. See, I was told I was going to be a published author, so obviously it's going to happen. Somehow or another. And to actually get a move on to making this legitimately happen is to just put into motion what I was told by someone I'd do anyway. That's cheating. It's just supposed to happen "organically," isn't it?
At any rate, my current step has been to look around and see what kinds of books are out there for disabled women raising healthy children. Ask me to search for these books 9 or 10 years ago and I'd come up empty-handed for sure. But today? I'm pleased to say that there are a fair - not great, but fair - number of books and other published resources for disabled parents to turn to. That is progress, and I'm happy to see these few sources out there for parents, or potential parents, to turn to for answers and advice (not to mention, happy to be among the sources they turn to with any questions and concerns regarding pregnancy and raising children.)
However... I'm still unclear what my particular bent would be in writing my own book on the topic of parenting when you're a disabled parent.
I'm not a fiction writer. Let me tell the truth, please. Let me tell you my story. I can do that and I can do that well. But to fabricate a story, with characters and an interesting plot and storyline? Uh uh. Can't do it. Don't make me.
And... you know? This whole "being a disabled woman raising a happy and healthy child" thing? It's going okay. And not, honestly, very affected by my disability. Not that I can see on a daily basis, anyway. In fact, as far as being a disabled parent goes, I sometimes feel rather like an imposter of sorts.
I mean... yes, I wear leg braces and walk with the aid of a walking stick. But that's me anyway. My braces and walking stick have no effect on how I am raising my daughter.
And other than my braces and stick - which I need in my life, child or not - I don't require any other "aids" to help me properly care for my child on a daily basis. In fact, the only parenting "aid" I can think of ever having was one of those kiddie "leashes" (Ugh. Hate that term!) for when Sweetie was a toddler and I didn't want her to wander or run off from me when we were out in public. And, of course - primarily when she was quite a bit younger - I needed more help physically from nearby family and friends. People who could lift her up and/or carry her when I couldn't. But now? I'm good. She's good. We're all good. And not terribly "disabled" from doing what we want to get done, physically speaking.
So, with that... my current story with Sweetie is, I feel, pretty much just like any other mom's story of raising a child. Sure, I have my thoughts on what having a disabled mom is doing for Sweetie's personal strength, character, and self-confidence. Because Sweetie does put up with a lot because of who I am (aaannnnddd... here we go with a complete 360 from the paragraph above...). She understands that I cannot walk far distances - at least not without my back brace on. She helps me get chores done around the house that perhaps other girls her age don't do because particular things are difficult for me to accomplish easily (i.e. deliver clothes piles and other things to our upstairs, carry large loads of laundry to be folded, etc.) And I think she knows that I endure chronic back pain and occasional leg weakness - not that I ever really outwardly complain about these things (what's the point? I'm still gonna hurt.) She pulls me up when I fall down, she slows down when I remind her I'm slower than she is, and she helps me without complaint when I ask for assistance through trickier (walking related) situations.
Just a couple weekends ago we were visiting friends at their beautiful new summer cottage, complete with a fabulous lake view and small dock to rest on. But to get back up to their cottage from the dock meant trekking up a somewhat steep (for me), tree-root-littered hill. Two or three times during our stay I asked Sweetie if she would please help me up this hill... which meant her stopping her fun playtime with new friends swimming in the lake so she could steady/pull her old, sore, heavy (for her, at least) mother up the incline. And she did it, no complaints (well, a tiny bit of complaint, but hardly mentionable.) And then, at the end of the evening when the car was all packed up and Hubby realized we were all set to go, except for Mom still needing help to get up the hill and to the car, I'm told Sweetie happily jumped at the chance to assist. "I'll go get her!" she said. And she did. She's a big help.
I realize that all of my "things" that I do live with, and that make me who I am, have got to have an effect on Sweetie, for better or for worse. And, in a lot of ways, I dare say my being who I am - as tough as it can sometimes be for me, for her, for our family - has played/is playing a large part in (if I do say so myself) the strong, creative, fair, kind, GREAT person Sweetie is today and continues to grow into existence.
So, yes. I have a story to tell. I've been telling it hear for about 5 years now. But in so many ways, it is nothing remarkable at all. Just like countless numbers of other parenting stories out there. I'm a mom. My husband and I are raising our daughter. We think - no, we know - she is amazing. We have our ups and downs but life, in general, is pretty good. End of story.
But... I have a book inside me. I know I do. It haunts me. To write it would be to display my authentic self. What I'm supposed to do - to help myself and to help others. If only just by way of entertainment. It only needs just to get out and on it's way.
Let's get a move on...
And so, with that - you guessed it - I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. A lot of soul searching. No, it doesn't exactly help much that one of the places I work is an interfaith spiritual theology school where I have recently been doing a fair amount of reading and editing of coursework text. Learning, as I read, how to be truer to myself. How to be authentic. How to live my purpose. Be bold. Be brave.
And I keep coming back to the same thing. Over and over again. It haunts me.
I have to write.
The specific thing that continues to run through my mind is the remembrance of a visit I once had, back nearly half my lifetime ago, to a fortune teller. A friend and I went - my friend writing down all the predictions this seer saw for my future. And there, among them, was that I would be published. Twice over, in fact. One would be a sort an autobiography of sorts (uhhh, hello! Can anyone say "blog"?) And the other would be more of a fiction, she thought.
Now, I don't care what you're particular views on fortune tellers are. You may or may not take any stock in them whatsoever. That's fine. Heck, I don't even know exactly what my opinion of them are. But, I suppose, if tested, I'd have to say, "Why not? Why can't there be those among us who can see more deeply than others? Can see more clearly what laid before us and what's in store ahead? We all have our special talents."
And anyway, there were some other things she said that day that absolutely did make specific sense from my past or, as I lived and saw, came true in that day's near future.
For one thing - my meeting Hubby was predicted. And I did. At the time she said I would. He looked as she said he would. She had him pegged.
But, yeah... she predicted I'd be a published author. And here I sit, edging in closer and closer to 40 years on this earth, without having done a thing about making this happen.
But then again, I always have really felt that this was sort of a self-fulfilling prophecy. See, I was told I was going to be a published author, so obviously it's going to happen. Somehow or another. And to actually get a move on to making this legitimately happen is to just put into motion what I was told by someone I'd do anyway. That's cheating. It's just supposed to happen "organically," isn't it?
At any rate, my current step has been to look around and see what kinds of books are out there for disabled women raising healthy children. Ask me to search for these books 9 or 10 years ago and I'd come up empty-handed for sure. But today? I'm pleased to say that there are a fair - not great, but fair - number of books and other published resources for disabled parents to turn to. That is progress, and I'm happy to see these few sources out there for parents, or potential parents, to turn to for answers and advice (not to mention, happy to be among the sources they turn to with any questions and concerns regarding pregnancy and raising children.)
However... I'm still unclear what my particular bent would be in writing my own book on the topic of parenting when you're a disabled parent.
I'm not a fiction writer. Let me tell the truth, please. Let me tell you my story. I can do that and I can do that well. But to fabricate a story, with characters and an interesting plot and storyline? Uh uh. Can't do it. Don't make me.
And... you know? This whole "being a disabled woman raising a happy and healthy child" thing? It's going okay. And not, honestly, very affected by my disability. Not that I can see on a daily basis, anyway. In fact, as far as being a disabled parent goes, I sometimes feel rather like an imposter of sorts.
I mean... yes, I wear leg braces and walk with the aid of a walking stick. But that's me anyway. My braces and walking stick have no effect on how I am raising my daughter.
And other than my braces and stick - which I need in my life, child or not - I don't require any other "aids" to help me properly care for my child on a daily basis. In fact, the only parenting "aid" I can think of ever having was one of those kiddie "leashes" (Ugh. Hate that term!) for when Sweetie was a toddler and I didn't want her to wander or run off from me when we were out in public. And, of course - primarily when she was quite a bit younger - I needed more help physically from nearby family and friends. People who could lift her up and/or carry her when I couldn't. But now? I'm good. She's good. We're all good. And not terribly "disabled" from doing what we want to get done, physically speaking.
So, with that... my current story with Sweetie is, I feel, pretty much just like any other mom's story of raising a child. Sure, I have my thoughts on what having a disabled mom is doing for Sweetie's personal strength, character, and self-confidence. Because Sweetie does put up with a lot because of who I am (aaannnnddd... here we go with a complete 360 from the paragraph above...). She understands that I cannot walk far distances - at least not without my back brace on. She helps me get chores done around the house that perhaps other girls her age don't do because particular things are difficult for me to accomplish easily (i.e. deliver clothes piles and other things to our upstairs, carry large loads of laundry to be folded, etc.) And I think she knows that I endure chronic back pain and occasional leg weakness - not that I ever really outwardly complain about these things (what's the point? I'm still gonna hurt.) She pulls me up when I fall down, she slows down when I remind her I'm slower than she is, and she helps me without complaint when I ask for assistance through trickier (walking related) situations.
Just a couple weekends ago we were visiting friends at their beautiful new summer cottage, complete with a fabulous lake view and small dock to rest on. But to get back up to their cottage from the dock meant trekking up a somewhat steep (for me), tree-root-littered hill. Two or three times during our stay I asked Sweetie if she would please help me up this hill... which meant her stopping her fun playtime with new friends swimming in the lake so she could steady/pull her old, sore, heavy (for her, at least) mother up the incline. And she did it, no complaints (well, a tiny bit of complaint, but hardly mentionable.) And then, at the end of the evening when the car was all packed up and Hubby realized we were all set to go, except for Mom still needing help to get up the hill and to the car, I'm told Sweetie happily jumped at the chance to assist. "I'll go get her!" she said. And she did. She's a big help.
I realize that all of my "things" that I do live with, and that make me who I am, have got to have an effect on Sweetie, for better or for worse. And, in a lot of ways, I dare say my being who I am - as tough as it can sometimes be for me, for her, for our family - has played/is playing a large part in (if I do say so myself) the strong, creative, fair, kind, GREAT person Sweetie is today and continues to grow into existence.
So, yes. I have a story to tell. I've been telling it hear for about 5 years now. But in so many ways, it is nothing remarkable at all. Just like countless numbers of other parenting stories out there. I'm a mom. My husband and I are raising our daughter. We think - no, we know - she is amazing. We have our ups and downs but life, in general, is pretty good. End of story.
But... I have a book inside me. I know I do. It haunts me. To write it would be to display my authentic self. What I'm supposed to do - to help myself and to help others. If only just by way of entertainment. It only needs just to get out and on it's way.
Let's get a move on...
Sunday, August 28, 2011
It Was the Worst of Times, It Was the Best of Times...
Yes, I know I have that classic Dicken's intro backwards, but I tell ya... this summer, for us, has in a lot of ways seemed like the "worst of times."
In fact, an alternate title for this post could have easily been "Broken Summer."
Broken car.
Broken new car (windshield)
Broken computer.
"Broken" kid
And now, as of late last night and right before Hurricane Irene began to enter into our neck of the woods, Broken house... as in, a bit of the interior portion of our basement foundation crumbled away onto the floor. Fun fun. "At least" we only rent this place. Not our headache to fix - only to live with in the meantime... and hope it doesn't get worse.
There have been other, more minor problems with this summer as well. For instance, the ice maker on our fridge (also property of our landlords') decided to stop working for a few days. Hubby was able to get that one fixed with some monkeying around, though.
I was miserably sick about 2 or 3 weeks ago. Out for a week of work. High fever for days on end, fatigue and whole body aches. Because of what Sweetie went through, though, I went right away to get tested for Lyme as well as 2 other tick-bourne diseases. All came back negative and I am feeling much better now. Still. I haven't been that sick in about 6 years. And I'd be happy not to be that sick again in at least that many years again.
Hubby and his dad haven't had really great, really consistent work since I'd say about April. Many more 4-week remodel jobs than are good for our financial well-being (jobs usually take about 2 weeks. And they don't get paid until after a remodel is complete.) Stressful times, indeed.
And, yes, I'm sure there are even more woeful news items I could report from our home front. But, you get the point. This summer? Not the best.
BUT... if you are a Sweetie and you look back on this summer - just a couple days away from heading back to school later this week - I am actually pretty certain that you would have thought this summer was, well, pretty sweet.
Hey! We got a cool new (to us) Prius! With air conditioning! And an awesome "way back"/"trunk" area which little girls can crawl into and settle down in during the second movie at the drive-in. Which...
She went to the drive-in for the first time ever this summer! Saw Cars 2. Pretty darn awesome.
We also got a pretty awesome new iMac computer. Totally sweet! And the fact that it comes with a feature that lets you take pictures of yourself as you sit at the key board, then edit those photos to look like they're comic book pages or the like? Way, way cooler still. Especially for a certain little 8 year old who can't seem to get enough of looking at herself in the mirror. This computer purchase may have actually been the highlight of her summer.
More - we traveled on adventures all over New Hampshire, participating in the New Hampshire's Great Park Pursuit. For 4 Saturdays within June and July, we gathered with other state park enthusiast families for fun times, scavenger hunts, and great learning about this really quite fascinating state of ours. They're even talking about starting up a winter version this year. Can't wait to see if that comes to fruition!
Sweetie also got to see 7 of the 8 Harry Potter films this summer. We opted not to take her to Part 2 of The Deathly Hallows until Hubby and I had seen it first. Then, once we did, we did give her the chance to see it, but we went with another plan for that day instead. Now we're almost done reading the first Harry Potter book together as a family. Love this new evening family routine for us!
She went to day camp for 2 weeks in a row - the first week being a Creativity Camp, the second week Theater Camp - at the Boys & Girls Club she goes to after school during the school year. With this, she got to see lots of friends she hadn't seen in awhile, she got to go swimming every day, and she got to act on stage in several short skits (in which she did a fantastic job!). Beyond these 2 weeks, she's spent August spending 2 days per week at the Boys & Girls Club for non-themed "camp" days. More swimming, more friends, more awesome fun! She loves Club so much - this was really great for her.
We as a family had a week off together for a "stay-cation" at the end of July. We haven't had a week-long vacation of any sort in years! So this was really a treat not just for Sweetie but for all of us. During our days we did much traveling to within our state and to other New England states, mainly on geo-caching hunts. One of those days, on a trip up to Quechee, VT, we found - I think - about 13 caches all told!. Pretty impressive. Sweetie loves geo-caching almost as much as Hubby does. Me? Eh - not so much. But I loved seeing them both have such a great time searching for their treasures. I even found my very first cache all on my own! Yeah, have to admit, it was pretty fun.
Towards the end of that stay-cation, we actually did travel down to Providence, RI and stayed overnight 1 night so that we could go to Waterfire. We all thought Waterfire itself was spectacularly beautiful and amazing to see, but I dare say Sweetie's favorite part of that whole weekend was the hotel. Yes, I'm sure those of you with kids can back me up on this one - they do love to stay away from home in hotels! Sweetie was amazed with, it seemed, every light switch, the way the door lock worked, the TV channels available, the bathroom - everything. Yep, had herself a good ol' time.
And besides from starting her summer vaca with a weekend of sickness, followed by the mysterious headaches that ultimately lead to her Lyme diagnosis - she has actually felt really well since the day after she started her antibiotics. Even 6 weeks of medicine, accompanied by a special diet to help her gut handle the extended course of antibiotics, never swayed her mood from being anything but (mostly) cheerful and accommodating to eating the best way possible for her right now. Good thing she's generally such a good eater anyway, not typically scared off by healthy and diverse foods. I have to say, she has been a real trooper through her summer of treatment. And now, we are ever so slightly aiming her diet back into her "regular" ways. And - knock on wood - she has remained feeling good throughout and seems to be staying that way. Yay!
So, yeah - even though we adults have had a pretty lousy summer over all, I'm so happy to say that whatever troubles Hubby and I have seen have not really effected Sweetie negatively in the least. She has had a great summer, by all counts, with lots of activity and many opportunities for memories to be made.
And, I have to say, even Hubby and my trials have at least had the decency to present themselves at the best times possible for sucky things to happen.
Our car died literally 2 days after I received my portion of inheritance from my grandparents. An inheritance just large enough to help us make a decent downpayment on our new car. Thank you!
Our computer died just a couple days before my credit card became reactivated after a year of forced inactivity (my decision, in order to pay down some debt, but activated through the credit card company - so, yeah, truly inactivated.) So - yay! Lets put $1000 back on my card as soon as possible! But at least it was available to help us...
And, like I said, Sweetie has been as helpful and accommodating as we would have ever hoped her to be while dealing with her Lyme treatment. And, concerning that, we were also fortunate enough to catch her Lyme early on.
This summer. It was the worst of times, indeed, in a lot of way. But we are a family who knows how to not only make lemonade out of lemons, but can also serve that sweet lemonade to our Sweetie without her ever really realizing how lemony sour we had it in the first place.
Or maybe that's just her. A girl who generally only knows how to look on the bright side. Sounds good to me. I guess we've taught her well.
Happy Back to School, everyone! May your days ahead be the best you could wish for!
In fact, an alternate title for this post could have easily been "Broken Summer."
Broken car.
Broken new car (windshield)
Broken computer.
"Broken" kid
And now, as of late last night and right before Hurricane Irene began to enter into our neck of the woods, Broken house... as in, a bit of the interior portion of our basement foundation crumbled away onto the floor. Fun fun. "At least" we only rent this place. Not our headache to fix - only to live with in the meantime... and hope it doesn't get worse.
There have been other, more minor problems with this summer as well. For instance, the ice maker on our fridge (also property of our landlords') decided to stop working for a few days. Hubby was able to get that one fixed with some monkeying around, though.
I was miserably sick about 2 or 3 weeks ago. Out for a week of work. High fever for days on end, fatigue and whole body aches. Because of what Sweetie went through, though, I went right away to get tested for Lyme as well as 2 other tick-bourne diseases. All came back negative and I am feeling much better now. Still. I haven't been that sick in about 6 years. And I'd be happy not to be that sick again in at least that many years again.
Hubby and his dad haven't had really great, really consistent work since I'd say about April. Many more 4-week remodel jobs than are good for our financial well-being (jobs usually take about 2 weeks. And they don't get paid until after a remodel is complete.) Stressful times, indeed.
And, yes, I'm sure there are even more woeful news items I could report from our home front. But, you get the point. This summer? Not the best.
BUT... if you are a Sweetie and you look back on this summer - just a couple days away from heading back to school later this week - I am actually pretty certain that you would have thought this summer was, well, pretty sweet.
Hey! We got a cool new (to us) Prius! With air conditioning! And an awesome "way back"/"trunk" area which little girls can crawl into and settle down in during the second movie at the drive-in. Which...
She went to the drive-in for the first time ever this summer! Saw Cars 2. Pretty darn awesome.
We also got a pretty awesome new iMac computer. Totally sweet! And the fact that it comes with a feature that lets you take pictures of yourself as you sit at the key board, then edit those photos to look like they're comic book pages or the like? Way, way cooler still. Especially for a certain little 8 year old who can't seem to get enough of looking at herself in the mirror. This computer purchase may have actually been the highlight of her summer.
More - we traveled on adventures all over New Hampshire, participating in the New Hampshire's Great Park Pursuit. For 4 Saturdays within June and July, we gathered with other state park enthusiast families for fun times, scavenger hunts, and great learning about this really quite fascinating state of ours. They're even talking about starting up a winter version this year. Can't wait to see if that comes to fruition!
Sweetie also got to see 7 of the 8 Harry Potter films this summer. We opted not to take her to Part 2 of The Deathly Hallows until Hubby and I had seen it first. Then, once we did, we did give her the chance to see it, but we went with another plan for that day instead. Now we're almost done reading the first Harry Potter book together as a family. Love this new evening family routine for us!
She went to day camp for 2 weeks in a row - the first week being a Creativity Camp, the second week Theater Camp - at the Boys & Girls Club she goes to after school during the school year. With this, she got to see lots of friends she hadn't seen in awhile, she got to go swimming every day, and she got to act on stage in several short skits (in which she did a fantastic job!). Beyond these 2 weeks, she's spent August spending 2 days per week at the Boys & Girls Club for non-themed "camp" days. More swimming, more friends, more awesome fun! She loves Club so much - this was really great for her.
We as a family had a week off together for a "stay-cation" at the end of July. We haven't had a week-long vacation of any sort in years! So this was really a treat not just for Sweetie but for all of us. During our days we did much traveling to within our state and to other New England states, mainly on geo-caching hunts. One of those days, on a trip up to Quechee, VT, we found - I think - about 13 caches all told!. Pretty impressive. Sweetie loves geo-caching almost as much as Hubby does. Me? Eh - not so much. But I loved seeing them both have such a great time searching for their treasures. I even found my very first cache all on my own! Yeah, have to admit, it was pretty fun.
Towards the end of that stay-cation, we actually did travel down to Providence, RI and stayed overnight 1 night so that we could go to Waterfire. We all thought Waterfire itself was spectacularly beautiful and amazing to see, but I dare say Sweetie's favorite part of that whole weekend was the hotel. Yes, I'm sure those of you with kids can back me up on this one - they do love to stay away from home in hotels! Sweetie was amazed with, it seemed, every light switch, the way the door lock worked, the TV channels available, the bathroom - everything. Yep, had herself a good ol' time.
And besides from starting her summer vaca with a weekend of sickness, followed by the mysterious headaches that ultimately lead to her Lyme diagnosis - she has actually felt really well since the day after she started her antibiotics. Even 6 weeks of medicine, accompanied by a special diet to help her gut handle the extended course of antibiotics, never swayed her mood from being anything but (mostly) cheerful and accommodating to eating the best way possible for her right now. Good thing she's generally such a good eater anyway, not typically scared off by healthy and diverse foods. I have to say, she has been a real trooper through her summer of treatment. And now, we are ever so slightly aiming her diet back into her "regular" ways. And - knock on wood - she has remained feeling good throughout and seems to be staying that way. Yay!
So, yeah - even though we adults have had a pretty lousy summer over all, I'm so happy to say that whatever troubles Hubby and I have seen have not really effected Sweetie negatively in the least. She has had a great summer, by all counts, with lots of activity and many opportunities for memories to be made.
And, I have to say, even Hubby and my trials have at least had the decency to present themselves at the best times possible for sucky things to happen.
Our car died literally 2 days after I received my portion of inheritance from my grandparents. An inheritance just large enough to help us make a decent downpayment on our new car. Thank you!
Our computer died just a couple days before my credit card became reactivated after a year of forced inactivity (my decision, in order to pay down some debt, but activated through the credit card company - so, yeah, truly inactivated.) So - yay! Lets put $1000 back on my card as soon as possible! But at least it was available to help us...
And, like I said, Sweetie has been as helpful and accommodating as we would have ever hoped her to be while dealing with her Lyme treatment. And, concerning that, we were also fortunate enough to catch her Lyme early on.
This summer. It was the worst of times, indeed, in a lot of way. But we are a family who knows how to not only make lemonade out of lemons, but can also serve that sweet lemonade to our Sweetie without her ever really realizing how lemony sour we had it in the first place.
Or maybe that's just her. A girl who generally only knows how to look on the bright side. Sounds good to me. I guess we've taught her well.
Happy Back to School, everyone! May your days ahead be the best you could wish for!
Tuesday, August 02, 2011
O Solo Mio
So, keeping with the Lyme theme for just a sec, we placed a visit to the Big Red Bullseye store the other day. Of course we did! It seemed the thing to do...
At any rate, we were going there to shop for whatever it was we needed/wanted (decidedly un health related, I'm sure.) And as we parked and got out of the car, I noticed a mom, around my age I'd say, and her son - probably about Sweetie's age, maybe a bit younger - just passing us by on the way to their car. No big deal, of course. But out of the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse at the mom's legs. Short legged plastic braces! Just like mine! Wow!
And the son? Well, he was looking at me. Not, I imagined, like almost every other kid and many adults (it seems) looks at me when I'm out and about - as if I'm some odd and curious anomaly very rarely spotted. But more like, "Wow. That lady's just like my mom!"
The mom saw nothing of this - not me, not her son's noticing of me - and just kept on going, pushing her cart toward her car.
Hmmm.... Now, I really have no idea if this woman has spina bifida, as I do. Furthermore, I make no claims whatsoever that I know what it means to have any other physical challenges requiring someone to wear short-legged braces. All I know is that I only recall having ever seen someone wearing braces like mine if that someone also had spina bifida. Ergo, I concluded that she, too, must have spina bifida.
Huh.
This not-even-2-second encounter all of a sudden had me realizing something.
Yes, I have certainly seen others in my community with various and diverse physical disabilities. But, you know what? I have never, to my recollection, seen anyone in the area that I was able to tag right away as having spina bifida.
Until now.
Well, wait. I do take that back a bit. See, I am a not-very-active member of the Spina Bifida Association of Massachusetts. I don't live in MA, but because my adjacent state does not have it's own Association, I am granted membership to this one. As such, I have attended a few summer picnics and holiday parties over the last several years. So, of course, at these various gatherings I have definitely met plenty of people with spina bifida. Mostly kids, though, and a few adults. And no one - I think - who actually lives in my state.
But, duh... there has got to be more people in my state - more than just me! - who has spina bifida! I remember when I was a teen that my orthodontist and his wife just had a baby with spina bifida. So, presuming they haven't moved out of the area, there's her at least. But seriously! There's got to be more! And adults! Where are you all?!
Wait a minute, wait a minute... now I'm remembering something else. I do recall going on a date or 2, back when I was a teen, with a guy who had spina bifida. Not sure whatever became of him either. Okay, so that makes three of us.
And now the Target Parking Lot Lady. Who is she? Where is she from? Does she, in fact, have spina bifida? She looked friendly enough - as much as I could tell from a 2 second sideways glance, that is. An adult! Woman! With spina bifida! And at least the one child! My twin! I want to know her!
At any rate, the whole thing made me feel rather alone in the world. Not that I have ever, ever felt the twinges of anything like this before! I'm not lonely. I don't feel different from everyone else. I don't mope around, friendless and bored and as if I'm the only person like me in the whole wide world. I'm just me, and - yeah - people look at me when I walk around, but so what. I've got 30 some years of "practice" getting used to that phenomena. Whatever.
And then, THEN.... we three were on vacation/staycation last week, taking day trips here and there, near and far, to explore as much of New England as we could muster. With that, we found ourselves at Waterfire last Saturday night. And you know who I spotted in the crowd? No, not the Parking Lot Lady, but another young woman who, it appeared to me and Hubby, also has spina bifida! She was wearing long jeans, so I couldn't see her braces, but I could tell she wore them from her shoes, stance and considerably seemingly underdeveloped legs as compared to the rest of her. That may all seem very presumptuous of me to jump to the spina bifida conclusion. But, I'm just sayin'. I may not see people "like me" often, but when I do, I can easily spot and tag them as such.
This lady was with her (able bodied) boyfriend. They appeared to be in their early 20s or so. Even though they stood for awhile not too far from where we sat, I didn't go talk to her. But I do believe that, after some time, she took notice of me as well.
Wow! Two adult females with spina bifida spotted in one week, both living (more or less/kinda sorta) in my area! Very cool! What a unique sight! And what a realization to consider just how unique this was!
If only I could meet more women in my area with spina bifida. The Parking Lot Lady really has me curious. How cool would that be to see her again and get a chance to introduce myself?! To hear her story of becoming a parent, managing through a pregnancy (if, in fact, she did), handled the day-to-day needs of an infant and growing, active toddler. Yup, it would be really interesting to talk to her and compare notes. Maybe some day...
In the meantime, I'll go on living my solitary life. What a sad, lonely existence. Pitiful, really...
Well, except for that it's not that way at all! Life, for the most part, is good.
At any rate, we were going there to shop for whatever it was we needed/wanted (decidedly un health related, I'm sure.) And as we parked and got out of the car, I noticed a mom, around my age I'd say, and her son - probably about Sweetie's age, maybe a bit younger - just passing us by on the way to their car. No big deal, of course. But out of the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse at the mom's legs. Short legged plastic braces! Just like mine! Wow!
And the son? Well, he was looking at me. Not, I imagined, like almost every other kid and many adults (it seems) looks at me when I'm out and about - as if I'm some odd and curious anomaly very rarely spotted. But more like, "Wow. That lady's just like my mom!"
The mom saw nothing of this - not me, not her son's noticing of me - and just kept on going, pushing her cart toward her car.
Hmmm.... Now, I really have no idea if this woman has spina bifida, as I do. Furthermore, I make no claims whatsoever that I know what it means to have any other physical challenges requiring someone to wear short-legged braces. All I know is that I only recall having ever seen someone wearing braces like mine if that someone also had spina bifida. Ergo, I concluded that she, too, must have spina bifida.
Huh.
This not-even-2-second encounter all of a sudden had me realizing something.
Yes, I have certainly seen others in my community with various and diverse physical disabilities. But, you know what? I have never, to my recollection, seen anyone in the area that I was able to tag right away as having spina bifida.
Until now.
Well, wait. I do take that back a bit. See, I am a not-very-active member of the Spina Bifida Association of Massachusetts. I don't live in MA, but because my adjacent state does not have it's own Association, I am granted membership to this one. As such, I have attended a few summer picnics and holiday parties over the last several years. So, of course, at these various gatherings I have definitely met plenty of people with spina bifida. Mostly kids, though, and a few adults. And no one - I think - who actually lives in my state.
But, duh... there has got to be more people in my state - more than just me! - who has spina bifida! I remember when I was a teen that my orthodontist and his wife just had a baby with spina bifida. So, presuming they haven't moved out of the area, there's her at least. But seriously! There's got to be more! And adults! Where are you all?!
Wait a minute, wait a minute... now I'm remembering something else. I do recall going on a date or 2, back when I was a teen, with a guy who had spina bifida. Not sure whatever became of him either. Okay, so that makes three of us.
And now the Target Parking Lot Lady. Who is she? Where is she from? Does she, in fact, have spina bifida? She looked friendly enough - as much as I could tell from a 2 second sideways glance, that is. An adult! Woman! With spina bifida! And at least the one child! My twin! I want to know her!
At any rate, the whole thing made me feel rather alone in the world. Not that I have ever, ever felt the twinges of anything like this before! I'm not lonely. I don't feel different from everyone else. I don't mope around, friendless and bored and as if I'm the only person like me in the whole wide world. I'm just me, and - yeah - people look at me when I walk around, but so what. I've got 30 some years of "practice" getting used to that phenomena. Whatever.
And then, THEN.... we three were on vacation/staycation last week, taking day trips here and there, near and far, to explore as much of New England as we could muster. With that, we found ourselves at Waterfire last Saturday night. And you know who I spotted in the crowd? No, not the Parking Lot Lady, but another young woman who, it appeared to me and Hubby, also has spina bifida! She was wearing long jeans, so I couldn't see her braces, but I could tell she wore them from her shoes, stance and considerably seemingly underdeveloped legs as compared to the rest of her. That may all seem very presumptuous of me to jump to the spina bifida conclusion. But, I'm just sayin'. I may not see people "like me" often, but when I do, I can easily spot and tag them as such.
This lady was with her (able bodied) boyfriend. They appeared to be in their early 20s or so. Even though they stood for awhile not too far from where we sat, I didn't go talk to her. But I do believe that, after some time, she took notice of me as well.
Wow! Two adult females with spina bifida spotted in one week, both living (more or less/kinda sorta) in my area! Very cool! What a unique sight! And what a realization to consider just how unique this was!
If only I could meet more women in my area with spina bifida. The Parking Lot Lady really has me curious. How cool would that be to see her again and get a chance to introduce myself?! To hear her story of becoming a parent, managing through a pregnancy (if, in fact, she did), handled the day-to-day needs of an infant and growing, active toddler. Yup, it would be really interesting to talk to her and compare notes. Maybe some day...
In the meantime, I'll go on living my solitary life. What a sad, lonely existence. Pitiful, really...
Well, except for that it's not that way at all! Life, for the most part, is good.
Friday, July 15, 2011
It's The Not Knowing That's So Hard...
No, I didn't think much of the one tick we found on Sweetie toward the end of May. Hubby and I reasoned that it couldn't have been on her that long (much less than 24 hours, we figured) so, really, this was nothing to think twice about.
No, I cannot honestly tell you that she was never bitten by another tick within the last few months. With her taking care of her own dressing and undressing, plus just not considering "possible tick bite, possible tick bite, possible tick bite..." every single day - no. I just haven't been consistently checking for the little buggers.
No, I didn't consider that Sweetie's initial weekend of feeling yucky was anything more than a mild passing virus. Kids get them all the time! This too shall pass...
No, I wasn't overly concerned, at first, with her occasional mention of having headaches. They weren't everyday. They certainly weren't disabling. She had no ongoing fever or malaise from the initial "sick" weekend. Nothing more than the random, light headaches, off and on. If anything, I was worried that maybe her eyesight wasn't so great and she would be needing glasses.
And what's more...
I definitely didn't consider that these headaches - or the initial supposed "virus" - could in any way be a symptom of Lyme Disease. Because, no, I did not know there were tell-tale Lyme Disease symptoms other than the usually-seen bull's eye rash - which she never had. No, I also don't know the symptoms to watch for for many, if not most other illnesses in the world. Do you?
No, I didn't realize how little is actually known about Lyme Disease and that it could be said that typical doctors only treat patients based on industry standards... and yet, time and again, there are patients presenting themselves as now having chronic Lyme Disease even though they were treated - as the standards prescribe - shortly after being bitten.
So, no, I didn't understand that I should fight for Sweetie to be on her antibiotics for longer than the doctor initially prescribed.
And now that I successfully fought that battle and she's on her meds for twice as long as originally intended... no, I don't know that this is completely necessary, or that the initial 3 week treatment wouldn't have been enough to take care of the infection, as the prescribing doctor insists it would have been.
And, no, I don't know for sure that 6 weeks total of the antibiotics will even truly be enough!
I don't even know if a blood test taken once the antibiotics are complete will accurately give us the proof that, in fact, the infection is gone. For all I know, we could get a false negative from that blood draw.
With this extended course of antibiotics... no, I didn't consider right away what that much regular antibiotics could do to one's system.
No, I didn't think about how adding probiotics to her diet like those found in yogurt, kefir and even straight up probiotics would be a great thing to do for helping her deal with so much antibiotics.
No, I never heard of the GAPS Diet before, nor - obviously - realize that it really would be the best diet for her to adopt throughout this process.
No, I am not necessarily convinced that she needs to be on the GAPS Diet per se, but do strongly feel that we/she should at least be restricted to a more macrobiotic diet at this time.
No, I'm also not terribly concerned if she sneaks some against-GAPS foods into her day. One piece of pizza isn't going to kill her. One small chocolate treat is just fine. Maybe we'll even go out for ice cream during our vacation. It's fine.
And anyway - so far, so good for how she's feeling! Yes, it's only been 2 weeks at this point, but Sweetie has not yet shown any signs of feeling bad in the belly in conjunction with the antibiotics. What's more, she is well aware of why we're altering her diet as we are and that she needs to tell us how she's feeling as time goes on. We can and will alter more drastically if she indicates that it's needed.
(I do know Sweetie to be a generally pretty healthy kid, fast-healer, and a healthy eater who likes a wide variety of good foods, only occasionally wishing for less-healthy treats. I have faith that I know my child well enough in this way to trust she'll be just fine with minimal changes to her ongoing life.)
With that said... going beyond the timeframe of her antibiotics treatment? No, I'm not thinking we will keep up with this altered diet much longer than that. Maybe a week or two. A month longer, tops. But as advised by the GAPS Diet itself, I'm thinking their prescribed up to 2 years or so of eating this way to truly restore the gut flora is just not necessary.
But then again, if she is showing signs that eating her "regular" way is just not working for her when we switch back then, of course! We will do everything we can to keep her as comfortable and healthy as possible.
And last but not least... no, I do not like the term "Lyme Disease." A disease, to me, sounds like an awful, long term if not permanent condition. Something that you cannot be rid of. And, yes, I know. For some people, that's exactly what it is. Chronic Lyme Disease affects their life every day in all sorts of ways and will for the rest of their lives.
But... I do have every intention and great faith that my typically healthy Sweet girl will battle this blip in her road with all she's got and that she will be 100% Lyme free before the summer's done.
We are doing what we believe is right and good for her to set her on this very path. No more, no less. Not at this point, anyway. And we will adjust as she indicates she needs us to do, if she needs us to.
Yes, in every way and at every moment I feel what I know to be an irrational "Mommy guilt" about what Sweetie's living with right now. Medicine everyday. Changed diet. Friends and family asking her how she's feeling, sharing their own experiences with tick bites and Lyme. It's, of course, left in my culpable hands that I didn't find the culprit tick on her. It's my fault that I didn't recognize signs and get her to the doctor any sooner than I did. I feel constantly, incontrollably on the defensive about how I've "allowed" - am allowing - this to all play out. And God forbid she's ever bitten again! Our family is outside all the time hiking and playing. I feel compelled to check her for ticks at every moment... then guilty as hell if I realize after she's gone to bed that, no, I didn't actually look her over today! What kind of mother am I?!
But... she is feeling much better. She really seems back to her regular self. I do have her on a course of medicine I have to believe will be more than enough to fight this Disease. I'm changing her diet as she needs to best get her through these several weeks of antibiotics and I'm more than willing to change it even more drastically if she shows signs of needing it. I intend for her diet to return to normal shortly thereafter, but am certainly most looking out for her day-to-day comfort and health, again willing to keep her on a restricted diet for as long as she indicates it's needed.
I may not have been able to stop her from getting Lyme Disease. And I may not be able to stop a tick from ever biting her again. But I can rest easy enough, knowing Hubby and I are both on the same waive-length, doing everything we can to make sure this remains for her an acute case only.
And that's the best I can do, I know.
No, I cannot honestly tell you that she was never bitten by another tick within the last few months. With her taking care of her own dressing and undressing, plus just not considering "possible tick bite, possible tick bite, possible tick bite..." every single day - no. I just haven't been consistently checking for the little buggers.
No, I didn't consider that Sweetie's initial weekend of feeling yucky was anything more than a mild passing virus. Kids get them all the time! This too shall pass...
No, I wasn't overly concerned, at first, with her occasional mention of having headaches. They weren't everyday. They certainly weren't disabling. She had no ongoing fever or malaise from the initial "sick" weekend. Nothing more than the random, light headaches, off and on. If anything, I was worried that maybe her eyesight wasn't so great and she would be needing glasses.
And what's more...
I definitely didn't consider that these headaches - or the initial supposed "virus" - could in any way be a symptom of Lyme Disease. Because, no, I did not know there were tell-tale Lyme Disease symptoms other than the usually-seen bull's eye rash - which she never had. No, I also don't know the symptoms to watch for for many, if not most other illnesses in the world. Do you?
No, I didn't realize how little is actually known about Lyme Disease and that it could be said that typical doctors only treat patients based on industry standards... and yet, time and again, there are patients presenting themselves as now having chronic Lyme Disease even though they were treated - as the standards prescribe - shortly after being bitten.
So, no, I didn't understand that I should fight for Sweetie to be on her antibiotics for longer than the doctor initially prescribed.
And now that I successfully fought that battle and she's on her meds for twice as long as originally intended... no, I don't know that this is completely necessary, or that the initial 3 week treatment wouldn't have been enough to take care of the infection, as the prescribing doctor insists it would have been.
And, no, I don't know for sure that 6 weeks total of the antibiotics will even truly be enough!
I don't even know if a blood test taken once the antibiotics are complete will accurately give us the proof that, in fact, the infection is gone. For all I know, we could get a false negative from that blood draw.
With this extended course of antibiotics... no, I didn't consider right away what that much regular antibiotics could do to one's system.
No, I didn't think about how adding probiotics to her diet like those found in yogurt, kefir and even straight up probiotics would be a great thing to do for helping her deal with so much antibiotics.
No, I never heard of the GAPS Diet before, nor - obviously - realize that it really would be the best diet for her to adopt throughout this process.
No, I am not necessarily convinced that she needs to be on the GAPS Diet per se, but do strongly feel that we/she should at least be restricted to a more macrobiotic diet at this time.
No, I'm also not terribly concerned if she sneaks some against-GAPS foods into her day. One piece of pizza isn't going to kill her. One small chocolate treat is just fine. Maybe we'll even go out for ice cream during our vacation. It's fine.
And anyway - so far, so good for how she's feeling! Yes, it's only been 2 weeks at this point, but Sweetie has not yet shown any signs of feeling bad in the belly in conjunction with the antibiotics. What's more, she is well aware of why we're altering her diet as we are and that she needs to tell us how she's feeling as time goes on. We can and will alter more drastically if she indicates that it's needed.
(I do know Sweetie to be a generally pretty healthy kid, fast-healer, and a healthy eater who likes a wide variety of good foods, only occasionally wishing for less-healthy treats. I have faith that I know my child well enough in this way to trust she'll be just fine with minimal changes to her ongoing life.)
With that said... going beyond the timeframe of her antibiotics treatment? No, I'm not thinking we will keep up with this altered diet much longer than that. Maybe a week or two. A month longer, tops. But as advised by the GAPS Diet itself, I'm thinking their prescribed up to 2 years or so of eating this way to truly restore the gut flora is just not necessary.
But then again, if she is showing signs that eating her "regular" way is just not working for her when we switch back then, of course! We will do everything we can to keep her as comfortable and healthy as possible.
And last but not least... no, I do not like the term "Lyme Disease." A disease, to me, sounds like an awful, long term if not permanent condition. Something that you cannot be rid of. And, yes, I know. For some people, that's exactly what it is. Chronic Lyme Disease affects their life every day in all sorts of ways and will for the rest of their lives.
But... I do have every intention and great faith that my typically healthy Sweet girl will battle this blip in her road with all she's got and that she will be 100% Lyme free before the summer's done.
We are doing what we believe is right and good for her to set her on this very path. No more, no less. Not at this point, anyway. And we will adjust as she indicates she needs us to do, if she needs us to.
Yes, in every way and at every moment I feel what I know to be an irrational "Mommy guilt" about what Sweetie's living with right now. Medicine everyday. Changed diet. Friends and family asking her how she's feeling, sharing their own experiences with tick bites and Lyme. It's, of course, left in my culpable hands that I didn't find the culprit tick on her. It's my fault that I didn't recognize signs and get her to the doctor any sooner than I did. I feel constantly, incontrollably on the defensive about how I've "allowed" - am allowing - this to all play out. And God forbid she's ever bitten again! Our family is outside all the time hiking and playing. I feel compelled to check her for ticks at every moment... then guilty as hell if I realize after she's gone to bed that, no, I didn't actually look her over today! What kind of mother am I?!
But... she is feeling much better. She really seems back to her regular self. I do have her on a course of medicine I have to believe will be more than enough to fight this Disease. I'm changing her diet as she needs to best get her through these several weeks of antibiotics and I'm more than willing to change it even more drastically if she shows signs of needing it. I intend for her diet to return to normal shortly thereafter, but am certainly most looking out for her day-to-day comfort and health, again willing to keep her on a restricted diet for as long as she indicates it's needed.
I may not have been able to stop her from getting Lyme Disease. And I may not be able to stop a tick from ever biting her again. But I can rest easy enough, knowing Hubby and I are both on the same waive-length, doing everything we can to make sure this remains for her an acute case only.
And that's the best I can do, I know.
Saturday, July 02, 2011
Too Much Excitement!
Hello! And welcome to July! While most kids in this area have literally just gotten out of school for the summer about a week ago, Sweetie is about to embark on her 4th week of blissful summertime fun.
Hah! Blissful?! I can't possibly be serious. In fact, a complete redo seems perfectly in order.
Starting with the final death of our 11 year old Saturn Station Wagon the Tuesday after Father's Day, this summer vacation, so far, has been pretty dang.... mmmm.... exciting! Yeah, that's the word!
But not in a good way.
After the car died, we spent that Friday shopping for a new (used) car. And, yeah, I have to admit that is pretty exciting. Got ourselves a sweet, red hybrid only a few years old. Air conditioning! GREAT mileage! Cute! We are very pleased with our purchase (and our ability, finally, to financially make the purchase and manage the monthly car payments.)
Oh! Wait! Did I say the "excitement" started with the car's death? That's not entirely true. It actually started just 2 days after Sweetie's last day of school when I arrived at my parents' house after work ready to pick up and take Sweetie home. But...
She was sleeping. Hmmmm. That's odd. And when she woke up, she was burning hot. Uh oh. And so began a weekend of fevers, tiredness and headaches. We still participated in our 1st of 4 Great Park Pursuits adventures, since she perked right up to her typical self with a dose of Tylenol in her. And then, by Monday, she was pretty much back to her usual self. A short lived, minor virus. S'all good.
Except.... every once in awhile she'd still complain of a headache. This, from a girl who never complains. A girl who can be 3 days into a pretty significant cold before she finally admits to me, "Mom, I think I'm sick." Yes. Yes, you are.
These headaches weren't everyday. And they weren't even that bad. Sometimes, if we were away from home, we'd just let her sip on some Coke - telling her the caffeine might help relieve the pain. Sometimes we could let time pass without doing anything and she managed well enough without further complaint. But then the headaches seemed to increase in frequency. And intensity. I'd give her Advil, because I didn't happen to have anything but children's cold medicine in the house. She learned how to swallow a pill, and noted the tasty sweet coating on the Advil.
With time, Hubby and I even started to consider that these headaches may be "convenience headaches," so that she could get to have a bit of soda or that sweet tasting Advil.
And like I said, they weren't yet all that bad seeming.
But they were frequent. Several times a week.
Finally, this past Tuesday, when she complained of yet another headache, I decided to call the doctor. After I left my message for the nurse to call me back, then... then Sweetie began to sob. So much terrible pain! The worst headache yet, by far. Yep, this had all the signs of a migraine.
And then, she vomited. Twice.
Long story short, the nurse called back and scheduled us to come in. Just a few hours later we found ourselves in the doctor's office and then waiting in the lab for blood work and X-Rays.
An X-Ray to check her sinuses, blood work to test for Lyme Disease.
Oh! Did I forget to mention? We found a tick on her about a month ago. It detached from her pretty easily, though, so we assumed it hadn't been on her all that long and, therefore, that no harm had time to be done.
Well, you know what they say about assuming...
Yep. Yesterday morning I finally got the call with the blood work results. Results I already knew on my own, given all the Lyme Disease research I've done over the last few days.
Early stages Lyme Disease. Looks a lot like the flu virus, with headaches, fever and malaise. Huh. Well how about that. Hindsight really is 20/20.
So. Three weeks of antibiotics. She'll be fine. Thank goodness we caught this early! And thank goodness my "mommy instincts" kicked into gear and I called the doctor. I didn't consult my retired pediatric nurse of a mom first. I didn't talk to Hubby about my decision. I just called. And I'm so thankful and proud of myself that I did.
For now, though, she's still suffering. Seemingly worse and worse everyday. More intense headaches. More likely to be "shaky sick" and/or have vomiting. Harder to cut through the pain with whatever meds I have to give her (children's Tylenol or Advil.) Longer lasting bouts of ill-feeling. And the pain always hits her pretty fast. One minute = happy, funny, "regular" Sweetie, the next = wincing, pained Sweetie. Today in particular has been pretty bad. A day that started out well enough, after a day yesterday of feeling good (after a couple morning hours of yuck.) But today's headache hit around 9 a.m. and she's still lounging on the sofa and visually in pain at 4 p.m. From the grimace on her face whenever she decides to get up, to the shadowed eyes that have become a pretty regular look for our Sweet girl, I can see how much she's just not herself.
I'm really, really hoping the antibiotics kick in very soon to help her feel better!
So, yeah. That's been our summer so far. And I didn't even tell you about the small windshield crack (that grew exponentially by the day until it was finally fixed) in our newly-purchased car, nor how I lost my debit card (albeit for only an hour or so - I had it all along!), nor how our other even-older-than-the-Saturn car we still have has tires of very, very questionable condition (and other parts too, of course.) Suffice it to say we've been forced to rely heavily on my parents to cart me around in their car while our cars have been MIA and/or been fixed.
But! The Great Park Pursuits have been fun so far! I hiked The Flume Gorge - a whole 2 mile loop! - with Hubby and Sweetie last weekend! Very Great indeed!
So at least there's that.
Anyway - we here at Chez Sweetie & Me are thanking our lucky stars that we finally have an answer to Sweetie's mystery illness of the last few weeks. And so very, very grateful that the infection was caught early and she'll be on the mend soon.
Here's to the end of all this excitement, and a hope for a nice, peaceful rest of our summer vacation. May your summer be fun and as eventful - in a good way - as you wish it to be!
Oh. And Sweetie, I'm sure, would love for me to tell you that - if you asked how she was, she'd still tell you "I'm great." :)
Well, of course she is.
Hah! Blissful?! I can't possibly be serious. In fact, a complete redo seems perfectly in order.
Starting with the final death of our 11 year old Saturn Station Wagon the Tuesday after Father's Day, this summer vacation, so far, has been pretty dang.... mmmm.... exciting! Yeah, that's the word!
But not in a good way.
After the car died, we spent that Friday shopping for a new (used) car. And, yeah, I have to admit that is pretty exciting. Got ourselves a sweet, red hybrid only a few years old. Air conditioning! GREAT mileage! Cute! We are very pleased with our purchase (and our ability, finally, to financially make the purchase and manage the monthly car payments.)
Oh! Wait! Did I say the "excitement" started with the car's death? That's not entirely true. It actually started just 2 days after Sweetie's last day of school when I arrived at my parents' house after work ready to pick up and take Sweetie home. But...
She was sleeping. Hmmmm. That's odd. And when she woke up, she was burning hot. Uh oh. And so began a weekend of fevers, tiredness and headaches. We still participated in our 1st of 4 Great Park Pursuits adventures, since she perked right up to her typical self with a dose of Tylenol in her. And then, by Monday, she was pretty much back to her usual self. A short lived, minor virus. S'all good.
Except.... every once in awhile she'd still complain of a headache. This, from a girl who never complains. A girl who can be 3 days into a pretty significant cold before she finally admits to me, "Mom, I think I'm sick." Yes. Yes, you are.
These headaches weren't everyday. And they weren't even that bad. Sometimes, if we were away from home, we'd just let her sip on some Coke - telling her the caffeine might help relieve the pain. Sometimes we could let time pass without doing anything and she managed well enough without further complaint. But then the headaches seemed to increase in frequency. And intensity. I'd give her Advil, because I didn't happen to have anything but children's cold medicine in the house. She learned how to swallow a pill, and noted the tasty sweet coating on the Advil.
With time, Hubby and I even started to consider that these headaches may be "convenience headaches," so that she could get to have a bit of soda or that sweet tasting Advil.
And like I said, they weren't yet all that bad seeming.
But they were frequent. Several times a week.
Finally, this past Tuesday, when she complained of yet another headache, I decided to call the doctor. After I left my message for the nurse to call me back, then... then Sweetie began to sob. So much terrible pain! The worst headache yet, by far. Yep, this had all the signs of a migraine.
And then, she vomited. Twice.
Long story short, the nurse called back and scheduled us to come in. Just a few hours later we found ourselves in the doctor's office and then waiting in the lab for blood work and X-Rays.
An X-Ray to check her sinuses, blood work to test for Lyme Disease.
Oh! Did I forget to mention? We found a tick on her about a month ago. It detached from her pretty easily, though, so we assumed it hadn't been on her all that long and, therefore, that no harm had time to be done.
Well, you know what they say about assuming...
Yep. Yesterday morning I finally got the call with the blood work results. Results I already knew on my own, given all the Lyme Disease research I've done over the last few days.
Early stages Lyme Disease. Looks a lot like the flu virus, with headaches, fever and malaise. Huh. Well how about that. Hindsight really is 20/20.
So. Three weeks of antibiotics. She'll be fine. Thank goodness we caught this early! And thank goodness my "mommy instincts" kicked into gear and I called the doctor. I didn't consult my retired pediatric nurse of a mom first. I didn't talk to Hubby about my decision. I just called. And I'm so thankful and proud of myself that I did.
For now, though, she's still suffering. Seemingly worse and worse everyday. More intense headaches. More likely to be "shaky sick" and/or have vomiting. Harder to cut through the pain with whatever meds I have to give her (children's Tylenol or Advil.) Longer lasting bouts of ill-feeling. And the pain always hits her pretty fast. One minute = happy, funny, "regular" Sweetie, the next = wincing, pained Sweetie. Today in particular has been pretty bad. A day that started out well enough, after a day yesterday of feeling good (after a couple morning hours of yuck.) But today's headache hit around 9 a.m. and she's still lounging on the sofa and visually in pain at 4 p.m. From the grimace on her face whenever she decides to get up, to the shadowed eyes that have become a pretty regular look for our Sweet girl, I can see how much she's just not herself.
I'm really, really hoping the antibiotics kick in very soon to help her feel better!
So, yeah. That's been our summer so far. And I didn't even tell you about the small windshield crack (that grew exponentially by the day until it was finally fixed) in our newly-purchased car, nor how I lost my debit card (albeit for only an hour or so - I had it all along!), nor how our other even-older-than-the-Saturn car we still have has tires of very, very questionable condition (and other parts too, of course.) Suffice it to say we've been forced to rely heavily on my parents to cart me around in their car while our cars have been MIA and/or been fixed.
But! The Great Park Pursuits have been fun so far! I hiked The Flume Gorge - a whole 2 mile loop! - with Hubby and Sweetie last weekend! Very Great indeed!
So at least there's that.
Anyway - we here at Chez Sweetie & Me are thanking our lucky stars that we finally have an answer to Sweetie's mystery illness of the last few weeks. And so very, very grateful that the infection was caught early and she'll be on the mend soon.
Here's to the end of all this excitement, and a hope for a nice, peaceful rest of our summer vacation. May your summer be fun and as eventful - in a good way - as you wish it to be!
Oh. And Sweetie, I'm sure, would love for me to tell you that - if you asked how she was, she'd still tell you "I'm great." :)
Well, of course she is.
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