Seven is Heaven!

The instant gratification of FaceBook has all but ruined me for blogging, I admit it.

Instead of posting something like a Sweetie Saturday as I used to, now I just put the cute/funny/silly/whatever thing Sweetie just did to make me laugh as my status on my FaceBook profile. And people usually comment on them. More usually than people comment here - that's for sure! Probably because my FaceBook friends are mostly actual friends and/or family of mine. Most of whom know Sweetie in person and can truly appreciate her goofy brilliance in all its glory.

I update my status, I get to spout off in short little spurts about my awesome Sweetie, and people respond. It's great!

The only downside is that I feel sometimes that I write too much about Sweetie in my status updates. Oh well. That's a mom for ya.

But anyway, Sweetie really has been so great lately. So many things she's doing and saying to make me and her Daddy so proud of her. All really starting with her fantastic attitude and help during our move. No adverse effects of moving for this girl! She's handled it all in terrific stride!

Her latest report card - brought home about a month ago - showed improvement in several categories. She's always been a great student academically speaking, and she definitely loves school. But the social and work ethics portion of her grades have suffered a little bit. Comments from the teacher on her 1st report card of the year stated what we already knew - that Sweetie finds it difficult to accept the opinions of others. Also she tends to be slow in getting her work done. But this 2nd report card that she just got - not one comment about her interactions with her peers at all, nor her typically slow work habits. This time, all the teacher noted was that Sweetie's problem solving skills are just as strong as her reading skills (which are at least a few grade levels above where they "should" be.) Basically, she is doing really well in school and is loving every minute of it.

Now, not only do we have this fantastic report card to show Sweetie's school success, but we have also been made aware that in addition to the reading enhancement "extra" that Sweetie and a couple of her classmates partake in once a week to give them more challenging work than what is done in her regular classroom, Sweetie and one other student are now in a similar extra curricular program for math enhancement, focusing on more challenging problem solving skills than what is addressed in the regular classroom. Wow! Go, Sweetie! Not only that, but "Go, School!" I'm thrilled that they are recognizing the challenge that Sweetie needs and are providing her with the tools to thrive at her advanced pace.

And as for those social development issues she'd been having, oh, since FOREVER? Well, not only has her teacher obviously noticed a change in Sweetie, but we at home definitely see just how much the girl has chilled out.

My best story I can relay to give an example of Sweetie's much improved behavior is the following:

My cousin and her 2 children were up visiting us a week or so ago. She has a 6 year old daughter and a 2 (possibly 3??) year old son. (I think I have those ages about right, anyway) As we adults were talking, the 2 year old used a quick moment of no one really paying attention to him to start taking apart a 500 piece jigsaw puzzle that Sweetie's been working on for weeks. She had the whole edge completed and the main picture inside all but done. Probably 200 or so pieces left to put in before it was finished. And now it was being taken apart.

Sweetie brought all of our attention to her and him when she yelled "Stop!, Stop!" Tears were in her eyes. She looked at me and Hubby with an imploring look of "Please help!" But she didn't do anything much more dramatic than that. In the past she would probably have pushed him away. And screamed like crazy - much worse than her sad yells of "Stop!" She would have gotten herself in trouble with her behavior, most likely. But now the worst she did was yell her pleas for him to stop. "Stop! Stop! I've worked really hard on that!"

Of course, it was very sad for even us adults to see Sweetie's work being disassembled. We definitely understood the importance of getting him to stop the destruction. Sweetie had put a lot of work into this puzzle, largely doing most of the work all on her own. She really had every right to be angry. But she really displayed her feeling very well - using her words to give a good reason why she wanted him to stop.

In the end we got him to stop taking the puzzle apart and worked out a deal where he could take apart the edge, but not touch the picture in the middle. Edges are easy enough to put back together, after all.

And so it was.

That evening, at dinner, I told Sweetie how proud I was of how she handled herself with her little cousin, and I reminded her that it wasn't long ago when his actions would have caused her to flipped completely out, scream, push, and get herself in trouble.

To which she answered, to my utter amazement,

"Yeah, well now I know that would be silly to do that over that. It's just a puzzle!"

Wow. Yeah. Just a puzzle. That it is.

Great attitude improvement. A helpful, sweet, smart little girl who can't wait for the weekend to be over so she can go back to school. Thriving in school and life.

Seven really has been a fantastic age.

Crash, Bang, Oof, Ouch...

Hubby had a somewhat rare, random day off sometime last week. Sweetie was freshly home from school, homework completed, and outside playing with neighborhood kids.

There was a a skateboard involved.

Hubby knew that no good could come of this. Yet he stayed quiet, not reminding Sweetie to be safe or anything. He just knew to hang nearby for the inevitable crash.

3, 2, 1...

Wait for it...

Waaaaaahhhhh!!!!...

Ah, there we go. Of course - the wipeout.

Hubby quickly rushed to our splattered Sweetie, picked her up, and brought her inside for me to clean up the messes.

A pretty good scrape to the knee. She'll be okay.

All par for the course of childhood, really. Sweetie had her 7 year old physical a little more than a week ago, with the doctor commenting on all her bumps and bruises all over.

It's good to see the bruises, she says! Means she active and playing!

Yep. The girl doesn't even sit still when she's sitting still, we always say.

At any rate, Sweetie's latest crash reminded me of a couple of my latest crashes. One of which that sent a shock straight to my head as I landed, full force, right on my butt. Another, even more recent fall, was just as forceful, only I was saved this time by landing on carpet instead of my parents' wood floor.

Yeah - I fall a lot. I'm sure I must have mentioned it here before. I am pretty much a Professional Faller. I fall so much, in fact, that I say that I at least have learned well HOW to fall.

Hubby is always amazed at my falls. He says they're like in slow motion. Pretty much no matter what, I know how to control my body during a fall to cause the least amount of damage overall - to myself or items or people around me.

I once fell at our dinner hosts' home, with a full glass of wine in hand, and I didn't get one drop on their beautiful white lace - nearby - table cloth. I don't even think I got any on myself.

I'm a good faller.

HOWEVER - given my 2 most recent falls, both of which were more intense than typical - I am starting to get just a wee bit concerned about my safety. Especially considering that not only does osteoporosis run in my family, but I specifically have had a bone density test and I am already showing a loss. Add in the fact that I'm taking Tegretol - which has a side effect of causing bone density loss in its users - and I am just not in the best health bracket, bone-wise, that I could be.

Never mind that my grandmother, at 80 something years old, had the bone density of a young woman! Other family members have not fair nearly as well as that and I know that I too am not of her league.

My body aches most of the time. Whereas I used to be able to stand "forever!" in my book selling retail job once upon a time, now I consider it laughable for me to even think about taking on a job that requires me to be on my feet for any length of time. My leg goes numb. My body aches. My really rather slight frame feels like a ton of bricks to me after standing it up for more than 5 minutes. I'm an old lady.

My back starting hurting me when Sweetie was about 5 or 6 months old. It was logical to me at the time, considering how much I lifted and twisted my body with this new little wonder in my arms. "No problem," I thought. "She won't need me to lift her for ever. Once those years have passed me, I'll quickly see improvement in how I feel."

Well those years finally did pass. I haven't lifted Sweetie for ages at this point. I have consistently visited my chiropractor this whole time, starting before I even became pregnant! Weekly visits for, what?, 8+ years now? And literally no improvement.

Or... is there? I mean, what if I stopped seeing the chiropractor? Maybe my pain and problems would intensify 10 fold! Who knows... I don't think I'm willing to find out.

Anyway, just another glimpse into "me." Sweetie told her doctor at her appointment last week all about the "silly time" she likes to have with her Daddy (wrestling and chasing each other around the house.) Also about the geocaching adventure hikes the two of them love to embark on.

Me? I've become more of an honorary member of the geocaching team. And I'll sit on our comfy couch, playing Ipod games and/or watching TV, while the 2 hooligans of the house have their crazy races and practice Judo rolls.

I'll try to be more careful and cautious, keeping my falls to a minimum if I can help it. Cuz I know I'm getting to a point - heck, I'm probably here already! - where I can't get over a crash anywhere near a quickly as Sweetie can.

Ah, to be young again....

Me - Then and Now

Ever notice how certain relationships can bring out just how much a person has changed, evolved, and grown up over the years?

It makes me want to ask - of others and myself - who are you TODAY?

Without a doubt, the very first thing I'd happily admit to being today is a Mother. I once took a writing course, right after high school, at which the start of each student (we were all different ages and stages of life) had to NOT reveal their profession so that at the end of the week we could all make a guess as to what each person did for a job. At the time, I was working at a bookstore. The first words out of my mouth during my Big Reveal were, "I do not define myself by the job I do, but, if you have to know, I work as a bookseller." Nowadays, I still would not define myself by what I do for professional work. But a Mother? Absolutely! Dec. 20, 2002 was THE date to change my life. From that day on, for the rest of my life, I am most definitely and oh so proudly my Sweetie's Mama!

I could also today tell you that I now work part time as an Admin. Assistant for a spiritual center. And I'm proud to be there as well. But I actually think I'd leave that definer as one of the last I'd mention in true conversation with someone.

I am a wife, daughter, sister, friend. I am, and have been for the last year and a half, a church goer. At a church, and especially with a church community, that my little family has come to completely love. I am a Unitarian Universalist. I am a spiritual person with an open mind who loves the variety of opinions the people of the world offer up - in all regards. I am concerned about the health status of the world and am interested in learning how we as a people of the planet can make it better for our kids, grandkids and future generations. At the same time, I am in no way a fanatic about it, or anything else. I don't want to be. Like I said - differing opinions is what this world is all about. So many issues, so many ideas. It's what makes everything happen!

I am not particularly funny, but I absolutely love a good sense of humor. Hubby and Sweetie make me laugh every day and I love them for that. I'm definitely not very outgoing. I am often times scared to try something new - whatever that may be. So often I'd much rather just stay in my status quo little world. Not make waves. Don't do anything because I may do it wrong and besides, others are taking care of me and taking care of things with already such wonderfully proven results. I don't need to rock the boat.

But I also know that I am much smarter and more talented than even I allow myself to realize at first blush. I'm a smart cookie, if only I let myself remember that important little bit of self realization. Okay, okay - so maybe math is really never going to be terribly clear to me. But so far I have been able to help Sweetie develop an interest in learning multiplication and division at her young age. So at least there's that.

I'm a reader, a writer, a person who loves to play board and other games. I love many different types of music. I'm a wine lover. And a (mostly) non-red meat eater who will still definitely indulge in steak and cheese subs and filet mignon if given the opportunity. Yum!

I don't swear. At all. My dad has never been a swearer and my mom only uses the more mild oaths on occasion. But I don't hold it against anyone who does choose to swear. Please - do not feel like you must control your words in front of me! Be who you are, and express yourself however you wish. I only ask that you refrain from at least the more severe swear words when you're around my daughter. Hubby swears! There's no shame about that! But he's awfully, awfully good about NOT swearing - even a little bit - in front of Sweetie. He's a good Daddy, for that and innumerable other reasons.

And even though I don't have deeply seated opinions about the ways of the world, I do feel, without a doubt, that I am a woman of substance. A woman who, I am the first to admit, really started to come into my own since becoming a mother. NOW I not only have strong opinions but am able to expess them - at least where my child is concerned! NOW I can see what a firm disciplinarian I am. I can punish hard, but I can love even harder. NOW I can see just how very strong a person I can be and, in fact, I am everyday.

Yes, I feel I do still let others take care of me. And, yes, I feel that is one thing that prevents me from fully feeling like the grown woman I truly am. But being taken care of is a wonderful thing. I love how protected and safe I feel in the world because of everyone who cares for me.

I used to put incredible stock in the opinions of others - especially concerning my self worth. And to an extent - I know I still do this even today. That person hasn't done this, so that must mean they feel this way about me. That person did do that, so obviously they don't care about my feelings about the subject at all! However, now, I truly feel that I can, at the very least, get over myself a lot quicker than what used to be. At the end of the day, no matter what happened, I can at least rest assured that my husband, my daughter and my parents love me - loves that will not dissolve no matter what. I am confident in these relationships and they are the people that help me through the occasional tough feelings of self doubt.

I used to be, and still am to an extent, a real drama queen, especially when it came to relationships (see above.) Back then I would have said that I loved hard and got hurt harder. Now I see that I obsessed hard and, thus, got hurt that much harder. I was very fragile back in the day. Today - like I said - I know who the few essential people are in my life, the ones who love me no matter what. I still get worked up when supposedly "important" relationships take a much different path than I expected or wanted them to. But then I get over it and appreciate that person and our existing relationship for the wonderful, unique experience that it truly is.

That fragile thing. I didn't see it then. I don't recall that, at the time, I felt particularly fragile. In fact, I felt downright righteous! But now I've been able to see how I used to be. I see that my powerful obsession-based feelings made me one that others had to constantly reassure. I no longer need that reassurance from everybody. I am completely confident in what I have and who I am now. I may not like all of me - goodness knows I have a ton that could be better! But in the words of Popeye, I am what I am. And that's good enough, no matter what anyone else says. I know it now. I don't need reassurance. An occasional reminder - yes. But not reassurance.

I don't need anyone to be happy for me. Nor do I need anyone to be happy for me. I am happy with my life and confident in my important relationships all on my own. That has nothing to do with others approving my happiness. Thank you, but I don't need approval.

And my Sweetie. She's a good, good girl. I was just telling Hubby the other night that I really can't even remember the last time Sweetie got herself all worked up about the way things are "supposed to be." That has always been one of her biggest "things." She's always had different self-imposed "rules" for the different places she finds herself. But now I don't see that so much in her anymore. She's still opinionated and dramatic, don't get me wrong! She dances like no one is watching, that's for sure. But she's gotten much, much better at accepting others' opinions while expressing her own. That's a big improvement. She's a good, good girl.

She's very helpful - anything I or her Daddy ask her to do, even if it involves climbing the stairs 6 times in a row, she does it with no complaint. I am forever impressed with that.

She doesn't complain. Really - she doesn't. We had a new dinner to try a couple weeks ago, one during which Hubby and I looked at each other with that knowing look of "this tastes pretty awful." Sweetie ate on. I asked her if she liked it and admitted that Daddy and I really didn't, so she could stop if she wanted and I'd find her something else. She answered, "No, I don't really like it, but it's what we're having for dinner so I thought I had to eat it." She was happy to not have to continue. But - wow. She doesn't complain.

Sweetie is polite. Other parents have told us so. She went out to the movies and dinner with one of her aunts for the first time recently. Her aunt told me so. She knows how to say please and thank you. She's grateful for what she has and what she's given. She's a good girl.

Sweetie loves school. She's such a bright reader and loves to sit down, by herself or with us, to read her books. But ask her if she prefers Reading or Math at school and she'll probably answer Math. Wow. Yup. She's a smartie, and a well-rounded one at that.

My daughter is such a bright, well behaved, good girl. She's a really good person. What better reflection of who I am today - who I've become - than to look at this wonderful little girl I'm helping to raise along with my Hubby?

Yes, first and foremost, I am a mother. I am so proud to say that being a mom - being Sweetie's mom - has really turned me into the person I am today more than any other contributing factor. I am more sure of myself, more opinionated, and stronger than I've ever been. I'm a good, good Mom. A good person.

Thank you to Sweetie and other relationships for reminding me of who I was and how far I've really come.

That's What She Said

Nothing like a good, old fashioned Sweetie Saturday to help chase away the Monday blahs...

Sweetie's said some doozies over the past few months, a few of which I'd love to share...

While still at our old house back in the fall, I walked Sweetie down our short road every morning to the bus stop and was always there in the afternoon as well to pick her up when the bus dropped her off.

One morning as we waited for the bus, Sweetie asked me...

Do you stand here all day while I'm at school?

----------------

Upon offering to help me open up our Christmas Tree's branches back in early December as Hubby assembled the tree, ever-attentive Sweetie noted...

Hey! This tree isn't real!

Of course it's not real! It's made of plastic. You see us put it together every year. You didn't know?

No, I thought it was a real tree that we had to put together.

----------------

When gifted with a $5 bill for her Christmas present from her great grandparents, Sweetie said with much enthusiasm...

Now I can buy a $5.00 foot long!

That's our Sweetie! Always thinking!

With Apologies... I Apologize

Hmmmm.... Whattayaknow? Seems that when one does not take the time to blog as regularly as one used to, one tends to repeat oneself on different points from randomly posted entry to randomly posted entry. And not always in an entirely accurate fashion.

Comfy/cozy, death, marriage, moving, etc., etc., etc. You've heard it all. Again and again. Sorry about that.

If you happen to have checked in here over the last week or more, you will also have noticed that I've changed my blog template a few times. A few too many times, really. And I'm honestly still kinda searching. I like what I currently have, except that the blog's title - and especially the subtitle - are really hard to read with this layout. I suppose I could just delete the subtitle altogether, which is probably what I'll end up doing. But I also think it's a pretty important subtitle to keep around. Hmmm.... darn free blog templates! The best thing I could really do is have someone actually design my blog again. Anyone interested? I can't pay much, but am willing to pay for a great design.

BTW - my originally designed look - with Sweetie's baby picture in the corner and the brown and multicolored stripes - just one day seemed to up and give out on me. Yup. I checked here one day and there were all sorts of funky words and white spaces and randomness going on instead of my blog design. So, no, I didn't get rid of it on purpose. It got rid of me.

And then my search for new awesomeness began...

Won't a blog designer help me out?!

So, no - I'm really not as flighty as I've appeared over the last several months. In fact, my hope is that, along with a new blog look, I'll be inspired to come around these parts much more often to post. About new stuff! Interesting stuff! With no more repeats! Because I'll be up on all the things I've been telling you about! Yes! Yay!

Except for Sweetie. She'll be a repeating theme, of course. But that's okay. You understand...

And if not - I'm sorry. I apologize.

It's Hard To Blog When Enveloped by Comfy Goodness

My sofa is sooooooooo comfy. Seriously. So, so, soooooooo freakin' comfy. I sit there a lot.

For Christmas Santa was kind enough to gift both Hubby and I with Ipod Touches. My first Ipod of any kind. I am in love. Possibly the best/most well worth the money (ya know, that Santa spent) Christmas gift ever. (well - besides from Sweetie, that is. Goes without sayin, really.) But it's difficult, if not impossible, to blog with it.

Life is more or less really pretty good these days. Not much drama going on around here - thankfully. And, you know - just like in high school/college - whenever life had some bits of even keelness going on - pheh. There's just not a lot of agonizing and whatnot to bother writing down in your schoolgirl journal.

On the flip side - we moved, people. Picked up a whole almost 2000 sq. ft. house and crammed (a lot of it) back into our new space that's about half that size. And we had the whole holiday season thing going on. And there was Sweetie's 7th birthday, of course. And my grandmother passed away. And my niece got married. Family was visiting from far and wide. Emotions all over the place. And still so much more settling in. Cah Raaazy!

I've pretty much given up on tutoring. My experience in the spring tutoring No Child Left Behind kids just pretty much killed me for experiencing any sort of joy in the process anymore. That and the bit of online tutoring I did with Brainquest. Nothing against Brainquest. Just my particular experience as a tutor there was way not rewarding and way too infuriating. I will not be returning. And turning down a couple NCLB students a few weeks ago - that felt so deliciously wonderful. I'm free!!!

My part time job is fabulous. I love the work, I love my boss, I love the flexibility in the schedule, I know that the potential and intention for my job to grow in terms of hours per week and dollars per hour is very strong. There are parts - dare I say several parts? - of my job that I'm not terribly comfortable with - yet. I've got a lot to learn. Some of what I have to do downright scares me. But scares in a good, "I know I can do this!" kind of way. An "I want to learn this and master it" kind of way. And my boss is amazing and knows what I can do and knows what I still have to learn and what I have an interest in learning and is allowing me the time, freedom and space to learn it all. It's just an all around tremendous opportunity and I am really grateful to have it.

Sweetie is good. Really good. She's loving school just as much as ever. She has a great teacher who sees Sweetie for Sweetie - not just another kid to stick in the "stubborn, argumentative, overly dramatic kid" box. She's making friends - kids all over the school know her - but she's still just as happy to play on her own. She's acing her tests, both spelling and math, and continues to be the smart, curious, lover of learning little girl that she's always been.

And did I mention how comfy our couch is? THAT'S crazy. We've had the thing for years - as our 2nd option seating area - mainly for guests only - and I never truly knew about, let alone appreciated, how gosh darn good it felt to sit in. So nice....

So - s'all good. So many new things, new ways of living and thinking about life and what's available for the grabbing. But so many great constants to depend on as well.

The one word I have to describe our new house is "comfy." Just the right size. Just the right feel.

Just like the couch.

Just like - at least for now - life these days.

Growing Up

Aaaannnndddd.... she's back!

The computer is now set up on the desk again, as it should be for comfortable writing. Christmas and all it's happening (some planned, some not at all....R.I.P. Grandmother Dot. Dot.) My niece and her new husband are off on their honeymoon in Disneyworld. And all is , pretty much, settling down.

Yeah, so.... we're all moved in to our new home and absolutely loving it. If there is one word to describe this house, it's "cozy." It's about half the size - or less! - than our old house, but it's completely enough room for the 3 of us and our 2 cats. And Sweetie... well, I just cannot express to you just how well she has done with this move! Not one problem with adjusting to the new space at all. I feel that her not having to change schools in all of this has played a huge role in her adapting so well. She has had that constant this whole time and for that we are very thankful.

Beyond adjusting so well, Sweetie has been incredibly helpful during the moving process. I cannot tell you how many times I've had to ask Sweetie to stop what she's doing and help me by taking things upstairs or downstairs both while packing up the old house and moving into the new house. And, seriously, every time she has in fact stopped and helped out. Without complaint. She has been a great, great kid during all of this. She is growing up and doing really well in all sorts of different areas.

For example, she is freaking out less and less about certain things that - not too long ago - would have sent her over the edge. She brought home a small, 2 story gingerbread house that she built with a friend's mom in school the other day. The house was in a paper bag and I went to take it out once we were home. I could see that it had already fallen apart a bit, as Sweetie feared it may have. Then, as I went extract the remaining structure from the bag, even more of it fell to pieces. Right in front of Sweetie's eyes. Aaaaannnnnddd.....

... she was sad, but that's it. She didn't cry. She didn't blame. She didn't get angry. She just whined (eh. not even) a few times that she wished it didn't break more. And that was it. Some of the house was still together and all the parts were still there. She even tried to put it all together again, but when she saw that that wasn't happening so much, she was okay with that too. Wow. Is this really my child?

Of course, she can manage her emotions so much better like this in some cases, yet still flip out over some other things. But mostly, we are seeing a great improvement in her behavior and social development. We are so proud of her!

Happy (belated) 7th Birthday, Sweetie. Looking forward to this next year and all the great things in store for you and our family. Love you!

Now Here's Something We Hope You'll Really Like

Hi again. I'm still under piles of boxes here in the new house, but I didn't want to leave you hanging either.

My friend Courtney has started a new blog of her own - Misadventures of a Military Wife and Dis' Able Mom. Courtney, like myself, has spina bifida and is the mother of a little girl, hers in preschool. Unlike me, Courtney is also the wife of a Navy SeaBee. She's an amazing woman with some physical challenges who's happened to have had to parent her daughter for several months on end with no special outside assistance.

Where I have fallen off the blogging wagon just a bit, I am thrilled to say Courtney is taking up the slack. And she's doing it with humor, spunk and an exceptional "can do" attitude!

I urge you to check her out and follow what she and her family are up to on a regular basis. After knowing her for years (via the internet - she found my blog way back when), I'm so proud of her and excited that she's finally become another voice in the blogosphere for women with spina bifida who want to be assured that, yes!, they CAN have a family of their own if that's what they really want!