My body may seem like it's slowing down, aching up, and just not fit to be moving around as much as it was once able to....
I may feel like I've been to the doctor, or dentist, more in the last year than I have in the last 5 years! Yay - so many visits with the crappiest insurance ever...
I am still out of a job, much like so many people these days. And so I let myself occasionally feel that much worse for myself - and about myself - because I was laid off just over a year ago now, before the big economic crisis truly hit (but well into the hurt that the newspapers were and still are feeling so badly). Surely I should have been able to find a job by now!... Ah, yes, but if I had - who knows! Perhaps I'd already be laid off from THAT job (last one in, first one out, you know). Of course, maybe not. We can't know.
Sweetie, as we know, says about herself that she's great everyday. Daddy's tagline - per Sweetie (with a little bit of Daddy help) - is that he is "awesome." I'm still waiting and wondering about what my "thing" is. Makes me feel a little left out, if I'm being honest. Not to mention the pure joy I see in Sweetie and Hubby's eyes when they're being crazy and silly together - running around the house, hiding from each other, tackling one another to the ground in tickle fights. I wonder if Sweetie enjoys our geocaching adventures better when it's just she and her daddy - they can go quicker and walk together. Or when I go along - we go much slower and Daddy has to help me along, leaving Sweetie to walk ahead, slowly, on her own.
... really, sometimes you've got to give yourself permission to live just a little. Life is so much more than the money in your bank account or pocket.
... I am going off on hiking excursions with my family and I am holding up! I am doing it! So what if I come to a day when stairs are really an impossibility. Just give me a ramp or an elevator and I'll keep on keepin' on!
... At least I have insurance. And the reassurance that doctors and dentists are there to help me, they know what's going on with me and are working hard to make things right.
... I have a vision for my future. I am working on my plan. I strive for a job to go to everyday that doesn't feel like going to a job everyday. I have contacts, I am not giving up. I will succeed at whatever I do.
... Sweetie calls to me when she's having trouble with anything or when she's hurt. She squeezes me so tight after a long separation from the both of us. She cuddles up to me on the couch as we read books or veg during a T.V. show. She draws detailed pictures of me, for Mother's Day, wearing specific clothing and with my purse - with all it's unique qualities - slung over my shoulder. But no braces or walking stick, because "I didn't think of those things." Sweetie can't say for sure which caching adventures she prefers - with or without me - which is fair enough. I say at least she didn't jump at the chance to leave me home.
Life, for anyone, is full of goodness and badness. I try, everyday, to focus on the good. That's a very difficult thing to do sometimes, but I try.
Life is good. Happy Mother's Day.