Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Speak No Evil

Work, lately, has been - evil. I'm not going to talk of specifics, this isn't the place for that. Just suffice it to say, it's no good. I hope things get better soon.

BUT - thank goodness that, for the most part, I'm able to leave my work woes where they belong - at work. When I walk out that door (albeit increasingly later than I should be), that's it. I'm done. I'll be back in the morning to deal with it all again. Until then, I'm Amy - a mom, a wife, just me.

(a nice glass of Cabernet Sauvignon and some chocolate doesn't hurt to ease the tension either, I might add).

This ability to leave work at work has really, well, worked for both Hubby and I from the very beginning. We met at the office just over 10 years ago. I started on a Tuesday, we went out that Friday, and we've been together ever since.

Others at work have coupled up as well throughout the the years. I know at least two other married couples who work/have worked together there, as well as the occasional dating pair from time to time.

In fact, I distinctly remember this one couple who were just starting to date shortly after Hubby and I met. Hubby and I kept our relationship a secret for a good while, but eventually everyone found out. When they did, the female partner of this other couple tried to commiserate with me about the downfalls of dating a co-worker. She once lamented to me that,

All we ever talk about is work!

I know she was expecting me to identify with her and share my own problems in the same area. But I really couldn't. Hubby and I rarely talk about work! Not now, after being together for a decade, or then, when we were just starting to get to know each other.

There's so many other things to talk about! We both love to read. We both love art. We both love culture. And we're both family oriented (which, of course, has taken on a whole new meaning since having Sweetie. Wow! She alone can provide us with an entire encyclopedia's worth of discussion topics!).

Sure, we do talk about work sometimes. But it's actually great because we're both familiar with the people and issues we're talking about. We understand the lingo of the work we do. We can totally relate to how the other is feeling about a certain someone/something. And we can offer suggestions for how to deal with whatever good or bad issues are going on in each others' work lives.

And then there's the relationship pluses to working together.

I once saw an interview with a husband and wife truck driving team who really loved, and felt benefitted by, working together. They pointed out how most couples, if they have an argument in the morning, will typically go off to work and stew about the fight all day long. Then when they reunite in the evening, those same argumentative feelings are still there, all fired up to pick up from where they left off.

But this trucker couple - if they have a fight, they've got to get over it! They're stuck in a tiny cab all day and all night long. So they've got to talk it out, work it out, and move on.

I feel Hubby and I are able to do exactly that because of our working in the same department. If we get snippy at each other, we don't have to wait 'til the end of the day to talk it out. We can visit each other's cube at any time and fix things. It's wonderful to not have to steep in anger all day long!

Other couples may feel less connected because they can't relate to each others' jobs. I know one of my co-workers was recently telling me how she was trying to talk to her boyfriend about all the system troubles going on in our lives right now at work. But she was saying how he just didn't get it. There's too much job-related jargon he doesn't understand. What my co-worker's job entails (actually, being my back-up) is too detail-oriented for someone not in the business to understand. The whole conversation she was trying to have with him went flat, just because he couldn't understand. She got no relief from talking to him.

So, yes. It's nice that Hubby and I, more or less, get each others' job. We're able to talk about things and feel better afterwards. And, because of all this, we're more efficient at moving on and dealing with what's really important - being parents, being a couple, and being a family.

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