Theme: Blue
Sometimes I feel blue when I think about the things I cannot do for or with my Sweetie.
I've never been able to carry her and have only been able to easily stand up and hold her in place when she was an infant.
I'm not able to run with her, or skip, hop, or gallup.
I can't even easily dance her silly dances with her that she so loves to do.
I can't play outside alone with her, for fear she'll run off.
Likewise, we can't go shopping alone together, or any other extra curricular activity without other, familiar adults around.
I'll not be able to teach her to ride a bicycle, roller skate or ice skate.
But, mostly, I'm alive and happy, thrilled to realize all that I am able to do for and with her.
I can stoop down to her level and squeeze her tight if she needs comforting.
I'm able to sit and rock with her in my arms - and I typically soothed her infant cries more successfully than anyone else, sitting, rocking and humming softly in her ear.
I can play my own version of piggy back ride with her - me crouched down low on all fours, she on my back and we bounce, bounce, bounce to a simple tune I sing.
I'm able to bathe her on my own.
I can tuck her in tight in her big girl bed, doling out big hugs, kisses and wishes for sweet dreams.
We can go visiting on our own, to the houses of friends and family.
Most of all, I'm able to love her with all my heart, all my soul, all my being. She is the joy in my life, and the light in my day.
I'm thankful every second of every day for the loving, sweet, curious, vibrant, silly, adorable little lady I'm privileged to call my daughter.
2 comments:
..."Most of all, I'm able to love her with all my heart, all my soul, all my being...
and that is the greatest gift of all. Beautiful post.
a.
Wow...I was just doing a search on "moms" because I was having a bad mom day...feeling bad because I don't feel good today and I am disappointed with myself for the way I acted...everything was irritating me and I wasn't very "playful" with my kids tonight...and I came across your blog...I forget I am healthy, they are healthy, and I am able to do many things with them...but isn't it odd that perhaps those of us who can do those things take them so much for granted that we don't do them and let our minor sicknesses or bad days get in the way of showing our kids love...while you...because of those limitations, always seem to be 100% focused on what you can give her physically, and in turn, you are 100% focused on her emotional needs and mental well being...perhaps you are giving her the greatest gift a kid can get and that is your attention and time...what you would give to be able to do the physical things...but then physical things get away from what they really need...our time, attention, and undevoted love. I doubt your daughter in the end will have bad self esteem, feel insecure, feel dismissed or feel unloved--because you are nurturing her soul...what is really important. I know you miss the other things and maybe she will miss some of them too, but she has "you"--and that has to be more important than shopping or carrying her, etc. You are a good mom...you are selfless...keep up the good work...and cut yourself some slack...I know you yearn for those things...but nurture yourself, too...I will write more another time when I can remember my login..for now I post anonymous, sort of...
-Robin
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