This is my eye. This is my smile. I don't know if others see them as clearly as I do, but I see the dark circles. I see the lines.
Oh, they're just laugh lines, you say. Use some concealer and you'll be all set, you say. Maybe so. But they're much more prominent then they ever were before. I'm looking older. I'm looking careworn.
Worn from motherhood. But in a good way, really. Like never before, I have the wellfare of a little one constantly in the forefront of my mind.
Is she eating enough? Sleeping enough? Brushing her teeth well enough? Is she actively playing every day? Does she play well with others? Is she meeting the development milestones as she should be? Will she run off from me when we're outside? Will she hurt herself if she climbs too high, runs too fast or gets too close to the edge? Will she ever be potty trained?
Motherhood - a stressor, a source for constant worry, and, yes, even at times a burden. My face shows my careworn state. I've aged considerably in the last few years (As a 20-something, I could still easily pass for a teenager. Now I definitely look all of my almost 32 years). My natural brown hair color has become drab and I've found more grey hairs since becoming a mother than ever before. And my skin is starting to crease and wrinkle.
But would I change any of this? Not a chance!
I get up between 6 and 7am on the weekends now instead of closer to 9am. Thank you, Sweetie, for helping me to appreciate the day and get as much time out of it as possible.
I've colored my hair a beautiful, vibrant red. Thank you, Sweetie, for speeding up my hair's aging process, enabling me to switch things up a bit and have a cool, radiant 'do.
My laugh lines are becoming permanently visable. Thank you, Sweetie, for giving me something to smile about and laugh along with every single day.
Careworn - the best kind of "worn" you can be.