Sunday, October 29, 2006

What Can I Say?

Sweetie is almost - gasp! - 4-years old. She's fully potty trained. She doesn't cry for "up!" anymore. Bedtimes are a breeze. She's always telling me that she doesn't need any help and that she's got everything under control. She listens reasonably well and understands that, when it's just she and I, she has to be just a little bit more helpful than at other times. Basically, in general, life is going pretty well and things are much more smooth now that Sweetie is getting older. The fact that I'm disabled seems to matter less and less as the days go on in terms of Sweetie's care and our daily experiences.

So, that being said, I'm wondering what to do here with my blog. I started Spina Bifida Moms (a dumb name, really. I'd much prefer y'all refer to this place as Sweetie and Me now. But whatever - what's done is done) as a place to discuss my journey into parenthood as well as my daily experiences as a disabled mom raising a healthy, active child. But now the whole disabled mom portion of my mission statement seems rather pointless. Or irrelevant. Or, just so nothing. Like the fact that I'm disabled hardly figures into my parenting at all anymore.

I mean, I know it still, innately, does matter. I'll always have spina bifida and therefore will always have certain challenges to face and overome and certain lessons to teach my Sweetie about myself and about others who face their own challenges. It's just that, right now, things seems so normal. Yes, life is at times crazy, frustrating, stressful, boring, happy, joyful, busy, and cozy. But none of these adjectives have much, if anything, to do with the fact that I'm disabled.

This is all a great thing. Life shouldn't be all about my disability. It's wonderful that life as we know it - and especially life as Sweetie knows it - is not all-consuming around any disability issues I may or may not be facing. We're just a regular family living a regular life.

Trouble is, regular family life for us is pretty boring. Oh, we're busy alright. We've got lots of people to see and lots of things to do. But none of them seem very blog worthy. At least right now. Who cares that we went out to dinner last night? Who cares that I'm probably cleaning my house all day tomorrow? Just - who cares?

I feel like I've got nothing to say here anymore. I feel like the nice little niche I've carved out for myself in the blogosphere - disabled mom spreading hope, good will and cheer - is quickly falling away. I'm much more of a Mommy Blogger than a Disabled Mommy Blogger now. And, let's face it, there are a trillion and one Mommy Bloggers out there, many many of whom have made a great name for themselves and get hundreds of comments a day and are downright "famous" in their own rights, etc., etc., etc. I'm just not standing out anymore. I mean, if ever I was, that is. I'm nothing extraordinary in the Mommy Blogger world. At least that's how I'm feeling lately. Ho hum.

No, I'm not saying goodbye. I'm not even saying I'm going to take it easy here for awhile. I still plan to do my regular "thing" and post multiple times a week and whatnot. It's just that, today and off and on as of late, I'm just feeling less than stimulating. Less than interesting. Less than I'd hope to be here on my blog.

I'll come around. Something is bound to happen here one of these days that is absolutely the BEST story to share with the world. I don't know. Maybe Sweetie and I will get ourselves caught in some caper where, gosh darn it, it sure would be useful if I could just scoop her up and run like the Dickens (which Dickens, you ask? Why, the runniest one, of course!). And hopefully I'll wish I could run for a fun, exciting reason and not for a scary, awful reason. But until such an event happens, you'll all just have to deal with my boring stories and who cares type of anecdotes.

Anyway, thanks for listening to me moan and rant. Now, let's all pray for some fun-filled excitement, shall we? Cool.

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