Sunday, August 31, 2008

Mama Monday #38.1

Theme: Relax

(Yes, for all you Sunday night readers - I am publishing this Mama Monday a bit early. But it's my blog, I can do what I want to.)

Anyway - I'll let you in on a little secret - I don't always sleep so well.

Oh, most of the time I read or do crossword puzzles until I get sleepy, turn out the light and fall quickly to sleep. Most of the time this sleep "sticks" all the way through to morning.

But sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night for one reason or another. Last night, for instance, I woke up when Hubby returned from a 3 a.m. bathroom trip. That was all it took. And I could not fall back asleep.

I used to be able to fall back to sleep. Easily! But when happens these days (as in - pretty much since my lay off) - then I'm awake from then on.

I've even had occasions where I've completely given up on the possibility of falling asleep again and have come downstairs to surf around on the computer.

The thing is - in the dark and quiet of the night, I just can't relax. My mind starts to race. I have no distractions whatsoever to keep me from worrying about all the "problems" in my world.

Granted, these various problems - if they're that worrisome - do occupy my mind during daylight hours as well. But of course they don't seem all that troublesome at those times. In the middle of the day, it's fairly easy to assure myself that all will work out well and, really, there's little good to be had from worrying anyway. 

Plus there's funny Sweetie to make me laugh. Or laundry to do. Or game shows to watch. You know - important things, all!

But I simple can't escape myself in the middle of the night. For me, if I'm awakened, the night nearly always provides me with nothing but doom and gloom to mull over for hours.

When will I find a job? How will we be able to pay for such-and-such? My body is entirely too achy. I used to be so much more physically "able" than I am now. How can everything possible work out well?

But in the end, the morning always comes. Sometimes I'm able to fall asleep again - even if just for the last hour before Sweetie brightly greets me every morning. Sometimes I have to just settle for a afternoon snooze on the couch to perk me up. 

But the morning does come. A new day. A better day. A time to relax and chill out about everything. 

I hope I sleep well tonight. I'm sure I will. And tomorrow truly will be a day of relaxing. Heading to the beach once again.

Hubby and Sweetie will comb the beach for new finds. They will wade along the shoreline. And I will sit in my beach chair on the sand, reading my new book or doing crossword puzzles. 

Who knows? I may even take a nap.

If I don't start worrying myself, that is, about why my body doesn't function like the "good ol' days" where I would be right there with Hubby - without hesitation - walking the long coastline and actively taking in the gorgeous surroundings.

No comments: